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Open Poetry #35
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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2005-03-28 02:12 PM


His face, weathered and leathered,
intent on task
panning for whatever worth
he can find

slowly swirling,    swishing
looking for brightly colored
nuggets         of hope,

      pushing aside      fragments

some rough, some smooth
carried on steady flow
     of a river song.

He studies
shapes and shadows;

sifting,     shifting
       looking for
something new

buried in still waters
to touch surfaces edge
and catch his eye

a slight glimmer
and shimmer
in an old mans dream

still prospecting
           times endless stream.


I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

© Copyright 2005 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2005-03-28 02:15 PM


I've been on tours of the gold country...saw the streams and walked the edge of famed fortunes lost...you caught the old man perfectly...why, even Twain would be proud of this one!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2005-03-28 02:17 PM


An old black and white picture caught my eye the other day and I felt compelled to jot a few words down at the time.  After thinking about it again this morning I dug it out and could shut my eyes and still clearly see the picture in my head.  It seemed only fitting to finish it.  

Thanks lady.....so appreciate the kindness in your comment.  Hugs.

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
3 posted 2005-03-28 02:36 PM


I enjoyed this greatly
Soft wording and a different presentation.
Good Job

Gloom

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2005-03-28 02:39 PM


oh nice...yes
very nice

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-03-28 02:42 PM


Gloom, Dixie, I do thank you both so very much.  A little something different from me in reflection.....  
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2005-03-28 07:01 PM


Donna, what a marvellous poetess you are! Your seeing eyes, really see ~ and that makes for superb poetry.

Hugs with love,
Linda

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2005-03-28 07:20 PM


Nice...James
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
8 posted 2005-03-28 11:14 PM


you drew an interesting human and tender portrait gentle one
Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
9 posted 2005-03-28 11:58 PM


Outstanding poem--there is so much more to this than your awesome decription of panning for gold--such a picture of hope and perseverance.

Enjoyed tremendously!

Shenachie

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-03-29 07:15 AM


a slight glimmer
and shimmer
in an old mans dream

still prospecting
           times endless stream.


Big Hugs! Well done!

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

11 posted 2005-03-29 08:35 AM


This sparkles, and thus keeps the eye returning for a second and third read. Nicely done. Bob
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
12 posted 2005-03-29 12:20 PM


I never thought of the lonliness that fills our dreams as an endless stream.
  It just runs on and on and on, and you've captured it beautifully.

Lovely poetry in slow motion here, Donna dear.  

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