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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2005-03-24 06:45 AM



The sky is too busy,

rain thoughts drizzle
then slip off the runway,

in a technicolor dream
spring and winter still battle,

a daisy shivers in wetskin
anxious to chisel through her tomb,

the rescue squad is called back

something ends but will thrive in the marshes

love becomes punishment;

the stars atrophy behind their silver paint
and someone's name is erased from the marquise,

rain promises, but fails
landing in vain, on the apathy of the stoic,
failing to soften the old rocks
as it whips them
in full view of the ocean,

ceasing to succumb,
love commits suicide
on an early spring night
when frost still threatens the daffodil,

squeaking along in dots and dashes,
begging to be created,
above the shattered sky
poetry becomes a shot of morphine.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (03-25-2005 11:22 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2005-03-24 06:47 AM


yes, yes, yes, remarkable verbage and style....enjoyed this a lot.
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2005-03-24 08:28 AM


its the best drug I know Michelle.  

I need my daily dose everyday too.
Hugs, this was wonderfully done.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2005-03-24 08:44 AM


It does seem like sometimes
even nature can't get it right...
but that leaves us free
to write of it...

There's a huge sense of maturity
that has been coming along in your
poetry, Michele...and I have been
enjoying it very much.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2005-03-24 09:24 AM


May I borrow a little bit of your over-abundant poetic talent?!?


EA

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2005-03-24 09:25 AM


Michele I admire your talent for imagery so much.
I especially enjoyed this read.
~Sending hugs your way~

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2005-03-24 09:32 AM


....morphine...I used to think all poets were morphs -- then I became one....

Michelle, this is a stunning poem -- starkly beautiful in every way. It's one of your best, which is saying a lot in itself, but this one goes beyond, expresses the spirit of the woman who wrote it, in a way I haven't seen.

I'm going to study this one, for a lesson in how to write.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2005-03-24 10:16 AM


The morphine in this poem got me high...

___________ice
   ><>

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
8 posted 2005-03-24 01:40 PM


Great work!  Though, I think in my world there is still room for both.  *smile*
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2005-03-25 10:26 AM


"ceasing to succumb,
love commits suicide
on an early spring night
when frost still threatens the daffodil,

squeaking along in dots and dashes,
begging to be created,
above the shattered sky
poetry becomes a shot of morphine."

and you are the needle that carries the words..

saw this the other day but didn't have time to read...so I went a trollin' the forum to find it because I just knew...  

you are freakin' amazing!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
10 posted 2005-03-27 07:53 PM


:thumbs up:
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2005-03-27 07:58 PM


poetry is always healing, always offers pain relief for me

well done, Mish!

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
12 posted 2005-03-27 08:58 PM


there is a great deal of depth in this for contemplation - at least to me - and a bit of an edge as well - well done

S

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
13 posted 2005-03-28 02:04 AM


wonderful!

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
14 posted 2005-03-29 02:31 PM


the style made it difficult for me to get through, maybe i am right, maybe i am an idiot, but i could not find what connected the poem. maybe that is the point?

in any case, thanks for making my brain work.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2005-03-29 05:22 PM


It started out perfect and so I kept thinking it just couldn't get any better. And then, with every single line it did! Amazing. Personally, I don't much like morphine (yes, I took it legally!), but it does make me giggle a little, and it does help take away the pain. I think, for me, that adds a lot of meaning to this. Gonna keep it in my library,

and thank you for this.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
16 posted 2005-03-29 06:11 PM


inkedgoddess,

love this!  I am in awe how you perceptively use metaphors of nature to divulge your heart.  

  miscellanea

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
17 posted 2005-03-29 10:45 PM


love becomes punishment
poetry becomes morphine

ink becomes manna...

nice cooking here

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