Picture by Alan Ayers

* * *

Dedicated to the memory of my
dearly loved father who passed
away in 1999.It has taken me
some time to come to terms with
his death but my writing has helped
me to heal.

* * *

I sat quietly down beside you,
knowing that it was only
a matter of time before
you would be leaving me.
I could hear your rattled breath
as you struggled to take in air
and I squeezed your hand
to let you know that I was there.
How I longed for you to be at peace
yet there was a part of me that was
too selfish to let you go.

Fond memories of the special times
we spent together flash past at
a rapid rate, as the tears fall
freely from my eyes.
I lean in closer towards you
and I tell you how much I love you,
but I feel that it's too little, too late.
I thought that we would have so many
more wonderful years together, but I was wrong.
I guess some things aren't meant to be.

You squeeze my hand and I know
that the end is near, and that this
is your way of telling me
that everything will be alright.
I kiss you on the forehead
and decide to let you rest.
I pause in the doorway and
take just one more glance
at your fragile form,
wondering if you will still
be here tomorrow.

The next day I receive the news
that you have passed away and
my heart freezes.I thought I was
prepared for your death, but how can
anything prepare you for the loss of
one so dearly loved and admired?
Waves of grief wash over me and
threaten to drown me in my sorrow.

To this day I don't remember much
about the days surrounding your death.
I think my mind had chosen to shut out
those awful images of your pain and suffering.
It has taken some time to pick up the pieces
of my broken heart, but my newfound love
of writing has been like a healing balm,
which has soothed my soul and helped
to ease my pain and heartache.

I know you help to guide my pen as I write
my words of love, as I show the world
how much you meant to me.
You have instilled so many things into me,
my great love for the written word,
my passion for photography
and my sense of humour.

Pictures of you adorn my home
and I see you every day,
and I feel you within my heart.
You will always be with me in spirit
as I keep your memory alive
through these words that I write.

* * *

"Through sorrow I found joy
And I feel your presence near
But as I pen my heartfelt words
How I wish that you were here"
(Sue Tancheff)

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins