navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » An Very Old I For the Challenge
Open Poetry #35
Post A Reply Post New Topic An Very Old I For the Challenge Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2005-03-19 03:28 PM



I
am I,
the governing I
that keeps at bay,
secures the peace.

Holding high as thereby
trumpets man,
denies the beast.

Shielding hearts
against the breaker
naught the giving
nor caring how;
the greedy,
seedy,
war whore maker
extant before
and behind the brow.

Crusade and aid
wherever good.
Steadfast beside the virtues fair;
for as it should
and as I would
did I
the gods' omnipotence bear.

Whom, in he
that honors me,
will sing a song to soothe his head,
in tones
of proud nobility
to sound beyond his final bed.

So there,
within
the thing as dies,
rich that
which seeks
all this at least:

I
am I,
the governing I
that trumpets man,. . .
denies the beast.

  

© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-03-19 04:57 PM


I read this with anticipation since I have been wondering for some time who you are.

And you didn't disappoint, as you remain a mystery to me and yet, at the same time you manage an excellent portrait of "everyman."

I hope you understand this is a compliment--k?

Your poetry is excellent, and I do admire your style greatly, tho it's not one that wordy me would attempt to emulate.

But I would if I could.


Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
2 posted 2005-03-19 10:19 PM


SB,

For a long time I have been a lone diver.
Going alone under water for as long as four hours,
(carrying twin 102s), in conditions often suggestive
of a tomb.  It is something I imagine like dying, if not dead.
And I have found how superfluous the thing we call “I” is.
Once beyond it, what emerged was, ( if there be one at all),
who I can perhaps describe as my bit of the eternal.  The best
illustration, (read decades after the thing
above was written), I can think of is :

I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent when I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.

Juan Ramon Jimenez

Once back on shore, who would again,
(yet not wholly),  envelope is the I that
each of us has, grown out of experience
and the need to survive if not prosper in
the current everyday of existence.

Consequently, when not treated with proper disregard,
this notion of that common I having ultimate importance
strikes me, at best, as humorous.

Thanks for reading.

John


Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2005-03-20 10:06 AM


This is quality stuff, challenge or no...I'm glad you posted it!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2005-03-20 11:51 AM


Thanks for posting this!
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2005-03-20 02:24 PM


Very interesting - as is all of your work.
Chris

You are ice and fire. The touch of you burns my hands like snow.
~Amy Lowell~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2005-03-20 05:10 PM


And this is why, when I'm sometimes puzzled by your work, I no longer hesitate to ask.

Your replies are ever insightful John.

thank you for taking the time. (and that other guy next to you too)

(and you have my admiration on the diving thing--as "I am" quite claustophic, and while the beauty of the sport intrigues me, the lack of air horrifies me.)

Thanks again for indulging me with your patience.

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
7 posted 2007-05-01 12:53 PM


both the poem and comment interest me.
I take a step aside and look at "I". who?
by this I am sure will lose myself one day.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » An Very Old I For the Challenge

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary