For a long time I have been a lone diver.
Going alone under water for as long as four hours,
(carrying twin 102s), in conditions often suggestive
of a tomb. It is something I imagine like dying, if not dead.
And I have found how superfluous the thing we call “I” is.
Once beyond it, what emerged was, ( if there be one at all),
who I can perhaps describe as my bit of the eternal. The best
illustration, (read decades after the thing
above was written), I can think of is :
I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent when I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.
Juan Ramon Jimenez
Once back on shore, who would again,
(yet not wholly), envelope is the I that
each of us has, grown out of experience
and the need to survive if not prosper in
the current everyday of existence.
Consequently, when not treated with proper disregard,
this notion of that common I having ultimate importance
strikes me, at best, as humorous.
Thanks for reading.