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| Open Poetry #35 |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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I’ve been here Before. Claw marks rend the wall From prior falls They should offer hope I’ll survive But is being alive Worth the bleed? Indeed, I have fought Valiantly for ascent But those other climbs Mock my audacity In thinking I could Stay away. There should be comfort In the familiar. |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
"There should be comfort In the familiar" I really liked those lines... Loved it! ~~~***~~~Come away with me, Wendy. Come away to Neverland~~~***~~~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
But is being alive Worth the bleed? ~*~ Heavy metaphor...but I say yes. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I so understand this - and every day we rise and stand strong against the storm for gales - it is our nature to prevail - no matter how many times we must pick ourselves up - Enjoyed - and I believe it is worth the struggle -  SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You ain't heavy, you're my sister. You stay in the land of the living and I will fly you angel express up to my home on cloud nine. It is far better than 7th heaven! I'll have you ascending faster than you can say helium baloney! ~ or is that "balloon"?!? Hugs with love, Linda |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
You think you should stay away? Do you remember Gaye's song? "I'm gonna stay right here, and I'm gonna make ya pay...... |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
suthern, The setting of this, the movement, the logic in this, the heart in it... All have led to an excellent write! I felt like I was right with you, feeling the claw marks beneath my fingers! My dad always said to try to find a way around the wall. It works on somethings, but I sure haven't found a way of avoiding all walls! Good luck to you. miscee |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Claw marks rend the wall From prior falls They should offer hope I’ll survive But is being alive Worth the bleed? Indeed, I have fought Valiantly for ascent But those other climbs Mock my audacity In thinking I could Stay away. ============================== now what did I just say about carving in skin on your other poem...and here I find this... great minds think alike? LOL  Well my dear...succinctity only works when its rendered with an emotionally power pen and that you have done well here...and the vocabulary and symbolism/personify was added poetic emphasis. I do so enjoy seeing you mix up your style of writing while holding on to your gift of expression. one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Well said, so true of our trials and toils...Glad the wall isn't a slate chalk board...that would bring shivers to the grit of my teeth for sure. As they say... "breathe" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you all so very much for your kind replies... I know this isn't a pretty one (though it's purtier than some! LOL)... so my appreciation for your time and thoughtful responses is magnified... Thank you!!! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Well the picture's purty... And I really like the writing. Even if you are my auntie (which would mean you would be one of those siblings of a parent born really, really, really late) may I be the first to say how proud I am of your poetry. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
There should be comfort Yet somehow there is not; I know it too very well.....and you speak of it so intimately that there's no doubt you do too. This is a heartbreaker, Laura....written on the silent flannelboard of swallowed pain. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
My leather feathered friend... huggzzzz come in many forms... yours just came in words... thank you so very much!! Ratleader: No comfort in this familiar... and yes... I know you know. Thank you so much, my friend! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
yes....I feel/understand this one Suthern gal... very much.... HUGS |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
the power your poetry hits the reader with is incredible..... and yes there should be comfort somewhere somehow.......sigh....though...and this says it perfectly.......there isn't hugs |
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