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Open Poetry #35
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Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279


0 posted 2005-03-06 06:49 PM


we will quiet ourselves discretely
we will kneel and fall against each other and
imagine the winter when we were half alive

we will remember the evening light and
how it beat clean against the arms of the skeletal
trees and against the buildings still carved out sharply

we will remember the sky glowing and how
it sighed a bluish fuss like you, coo coo
and we will imagine too//
that it is sunday or another day
and that we both have something to say
and that we are holding hands and
saying it together

when really, we are two old birds in a street
in a city under wires- under water wet  
we are/ flushing our frail bodies
with the holy water, with the history

we are choking on the fresh sprigs and
tangling our sore wings in the rebirth that
is not ours, we are carving our promises
into our poor pale legs and bleeding
our last words silently

we are// for dying
our small pebble hearts by the back door closing
by the small garden sprouting spring- not in the street
not with the water or washing
not with the fierce light stabbing us blind

© Copyright 2005 Alicia - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2005-03-06 07:08 PM


this leaves me speechless - what a superb job you've done here -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2005-03-06 07:42 PM


that last verse tops it off nicely

very nice

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2005-03-06 07:46 PM


  You write with a lot of feeling.  I enjoyed reading your poem, but was saddened.
  Hoping better days ahead.
        ~sadie

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2005-03-06 10:54 PM


Alicia

I'm always amazed by you....such a heart you explore and allow us to see...thank you!  

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
5 posted 2005-03-07 12:19 PM




Alicia,

There is a certain distraction in your poems
that I like.  This one reminded me of Mark Strand
for whose poetry I have great regard.  I really think
you are capable of being published.

John


EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
6 posted 2005-03-07 02:23 AM


Your writing never fails to move me. Always enjoy your thoughts,take care!

"A spring shower was cause to run
Until you twirled me in the rain" ~ BDC

[This message has been edited by EagleOne (03-07-2005 04:03 AM).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2005-03-07 02:33 PM


Oh sighhh A, I can't express enough just how good it feels  to read your words.

amazing you are

of course this goes into my library.

Mxx

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2005-03-07 04:02 PM


The day your book is published I want one!  I am NEVER dissapointed when I read your thoughts.  Incredible work.

What's past is prologue.
William Shakespeare

~ Carpe' Diem ~

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
9 posted 2005-03-07 05:35 PM


awesome

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2005-03-07 08:10 PM


we will quiet ourselves discretely
we will kneel and fall against each other and
imagine the winter when we were half alive

we will remember the evening light and
how it beat clean against the arms of the skeletal
trees and against the buildings still carved out sharply

we will remember the sky glowing and how
it sighed a bluish fuss like you, coo coo

=========================================

As always I learn from reading you...
so unique...so distinct...
good to find you here....hope life is treating you kind poetess A.

one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ...
~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2005-03-07 11:08 PM


NIce writing...James
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2005-03-08 12:46 PM


"and we will imagine too//
that it is sunday or another day
and that we both have something to say
and that we are holding hands and
saying it together"
So much of life is wrapped up in this handful of words...
Alicia, I never tire watching the unfolding of your mind moments.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2005-03-08 07:17 PM


I don't miss a thing you post, m'friend.

I wanted you to know that.

You always leave me wishing I could channel you.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
14 posted 2005-03-08 10:24 PM


with a touch of morbid, beautiful grit...

beauty without shine.

this is awesome, the descriptions do "carve" images into cold stone, yet there is warmth too.

very nice

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
15 posted 2005-03-09 11:27 PM


we are choking on the fresh sprigs and
tangling our sore wings in the rebirth that
is not ours, we are carving our promises
into our poor pale legs and bleeding
our last words silently


you broke me with this. but i needed it, cleansing. staring in awe at your words, red-eyed and greatful.

r

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

16 posted 2005-03-10 10:54 AM


we are choking on the fresh sprigs and
tangling our sore wings in the rebirth that
is not ours, we are carving our promises
into our poor pale legs and bleeding
our last words silently


reading this was like watching Sense and Sensibility, when she saw him with another....Your writing is undescribably passionate


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2005-03-10 11:28 AM


Alicia, so good to read your poetry
again...it's been awhile.  I think the
majority of us believe you should be
published...so have you been sending your
work out? I hope so...I'll be one of the
first in line!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2005-03-10 11:36 AM


good read
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
19 posted 2005-03-10 02:24 PM


this is so cool, so melancholy, so personal - not that all your other works don't feel that way. I love "bluish fuss", though i have to admit that the coo-coo seemed a bit too lighthearted for the tone of the whole.

all told - too cool.


egowhores.com - really love yourself.

Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

20 posted 2005-03-10 07:56 PM


ah golly. thanks all for finding me, reading this...for your often too generous comments.
and yes, that coo bit seemed a tad wacky to me, but it wanted to be there so...

thanks for reading, i'm reading too.

wandering glider
Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501
aloft
21 posted 2005-03-10 10:23 PM


mmmmmm

nice trip
thanks for the ride


glider

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