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Open Poetry #35
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Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2005-03-02 03:13 PM


Your sort of bleeding from your bottom lip dear. What ever did happen on the 25th.
You spoke like it was monumental.
And you'd reply like you always reply.
That's when I just want the beach in my hand.
The sand like flour.
I'll make us all pancakes and we'll go catch jelly fish.
So we can have fresh jam.
You have to eat the ocean when your there or else it's just pointless.

With a can in my hand, this is my camera.
Look through the tunnel.
You'll find the entire world calling it a circle when really they have no clue what they're seeing at all. It's by no means circular.

You lip is bleeding again, does it hurt.
does the salt water fill in the cracks or just make them wider.
Because your wearing a yellow t-shirt and calling to the sky like it's summer.
And I love you that way.
When you create the day with your ten fingers and introspective.
And you make it warm.

What ever did happen.

No don't think back to specifics, instead we'll jump around the details to make the biggest castle on the entire beach.
Dear prince, I shall meet you inside, go and set the table, and set it please on the floor.
I never did like sitting up so proper in expensive chairs.
I know, I know you've found her.
So why is your lip bleeding dear friend of mine. Why is your music making me cry, here where all water is salty.
Here where you create everything.
Create a door in the castle wall and let your maiden with the ugly dress and dirty hands leave and start again.

© Copyright 2005 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2005-03-02 03:35 PM


Create a door in the castle wall and let your maiden with the ugly dress and dirty hands leave and start again.

I think, truly this is an incredibly deep write....I enjoyed it very much.  Well done Lexy..

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2005-03-02 06:09 PM


I won't pretend that I always "get it" when I read you, but the images you convey are intriguing, rather surreal in places, but the pieces fold together to make an inexpressible statement of perfect sense in my subconscious.

I enjoy your work very much Lexy.


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2005-03-03 12:00 PM


"Because your wearing a yellow t-shirt and calling to the sky like it's summer.
And I love you that way.
When you create the day with your ten fingers and introspective.
And you make it warm."

I really liked this part, and pretty much what Karen said too

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

4 posted 2005-03-03 05:51 AM


Didnt read all of this, was put off by the amount of words and structure...maybe you should trim it down? Just my thoughts..but thank you for it anyway...

Goldenrose.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2005-03-03 08:19 AM


Lexy, this was wonderful, especially

You lip is bleeding again, does it hurt.
does the salt water fill in the cracks or just make them wider.
Because your wearing a yellow t-shirt and calling to the sky like it's summer.
And I love you that way.
When you create the day with your ten fingers and introspective.
And you make it warm.


Write write write, looking forward to reading more of you...thank you for sharing...you!

The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A
6 posted 2005-03-17 08:38 PM


Full of depth and sincerity, great read

New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire

Jaime Fradera
Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable
7 posted 2005-03-17 08:52 PM


I'm kind of psycho-emotionally unballanced tonight, but caught or think I caught the bitter and poygnant nusance.
Jaime

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