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Open Poetry #35
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2005-03-02 12:23 PM



                sparrow


     as she flits
                                         branch
           to ground
                                to yard wall
   one
round
   eye
                     tracks the
        empty
                                            feeder

now the
                           roof
                                             out of
              sight
                                           but
                                                  she
                           watches
    sparrow’s
                        rush
                        so
                                    patient


© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2005-03-02 12:32 PM


very cool presentation of your lovely poem
suthern
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2 posted 2005-03-02 08:34 AM


The formatting adds such impact... we don't just read the motion... we feel the brush of wings. *S*

I love this, my friend... especially that attention to the empty feeder. LOL A pair of doves call my balcony home every year... they haven't showed up to start building their nest yet... but I'm sure they'll give my window a peck or two to remind me of my duties once they settle in! *S*

Beautiful work!

Sunshine
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3 posted 2005-03-02 08:44 AM


That's what I forgot to do today...
fill the feeder...

Check. Now it's on my to-do list!

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2005-03-02 08:44 AM


Ratleader
Your formatting Is like watching the bird search. Enjoyed

LeeJ
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5 posted 2005-03-02 09:05 AM


packed with a punch...a soft and loving one...playful and kind....


Enchantress
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Canada eh.
6 posted 2005-03-02 09:08 AM


Ah your words flitted about like a sparrow!
Wonderful words and presentation.
Hugs~

~ Love, like magic, depends on believing. ~

Lost Dreamer
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Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 2005-03-02 11:28 AM


Very interesting, and enjoying. I felt I was flying with the sparrow

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



Ericc
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8 posted 2005-03-02 01:01 PM


Wonderful presentation for most wonderful words!

Eric

Martie
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9 posted 2005-03-02 01:17 PM


Ed

I like the thought of rushing to be patient...somehow the way you say it makes the two compatible.  Great presentation also, with the flitting from place to place apparent.  

Ratleader
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10 posted 2005-03-02 01:28 PM


Yes, she has to move-move-move because that's her nature....but while she's constantly changing position so a predator can't home-in on her, she's patiently waiting for me to show up with the bird seed....her and the other 50 sparrows, the seven doves and the six or eight finches.....at least the doves manage to ~look~ patient while they're waiting!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
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inkedgoddess
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11 posted 2005-03-02 11:38 PM


a splendid flight
very wispy

passing shadows
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displaced
12 posted 2005-03-03 02:54 AM


I read this earlier
I enjoyed it

suthern
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13 posted 2005-03-03 10:01 AM


My pals aren't satisfied with longing looks... they knock their lil birdie demands until I get on with the feeder filling! LOL Just TRY to sleep with a couple of 'em pecking on the window... Bugs and worms are safe around my balcony... for the doves are spoiled rotten! LOL (They also think I plant hanging baskets of perselane to provide them a soft, spongy nest with a view! LOL)
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