navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » ripped
Open Poetry #35
Post A Reply Post New Topic ripped Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2005-03-01 10:34 PM



My heart my tears my fears
are all coming true

i knew that i wouldent be able
to be with you,the lies the lies
the misdirections.

your heart isnt wanting for me
no it just a deception.


My eyes my faith my own reflection
I can barely look at me


THe dark comes down it carries me whole
my sould drains into my own dementions


stray me to the hole of yesterday years
where all the troubles were in a box of
cookies

unedited

© Copyright 2005 Julie O'Neill - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2005-03-02 06:49 AM


Moral, and even legal implications and complications still do not deter humans away from primal impulses...

One can be extremely happy with their present mate, and still the urge of ages punishes by pushing the biological envelope. Even when our better judgement warns of the results ...

As you say....

"i knew that i wouldent be able
to be with you,"

Nature is deceptive...

"the lies the lies
the misdirections."

" your heart isnt wanting for me
no it just a deception."

Nature allows this because its job is to spread genes around in every possible direction...imo

But the psyche is trained in the modern sense, and bars the bliss from being absorbed and accepted...Society lays on guilt for many reasons and so one shrinks into themselves after offending it (to a place of healing)


"THe dark comes down it carries me whole
my sould drains into my own dementions"

Returning to the sexless place of childhood to take refuge and heal?

"stray me to the hole of yesterday years
where all the troubles were in a box of
cookies "

I wonder why there are as yet no replies to this? Perhaps it is a touchy subject that many have wrestled with, and so it is read and passed over without comment?

Unedited or not, the short stanzas are strong and to the point, a little tweaking and it will become a very good poem...

____________ice
   ><>

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-03-02 06:56 AM


a marvelous depiction of what we all have felt, agree with ice, back up to the top you go...for all to read
Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
3 posted 2005-03-02 10:49 AM


thank you very much guys.

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
4 posted 2005-03-02 03:14 PM


I must agree with the others on this read.

:-)

Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
5 posted 2005-03-02 05:43 PM


thank's guys

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » ripped

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary