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Open Poetry #35
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2005-02-28 10:29 PM


As snow falls
And fall
And fills all the lands,
I bundle myself in black leather
Gloves and coat against the weather
Blowing
~~o blowing across the street
~~* snowing into my face
~~o walking no one to greet
~~* people gone to there place

As feet trudge
And trudge
Trudging through the deep white
Nowhere or when to be this night
Night
Oo~ Snow and darkness blending
**~ Gray pulled apart chilling
Oo~ down falls never ending
**~ holes and cracks it’s filling

I circled a block
And another
Then home
Covered cold white I did roam

Gloom


© Copyright 2005 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
1 posted 2005-02-28 10:33 PM


Smiling at the oo's and o's and the snows and wishing for a snowday... hot chocolate, chili, and a bunch of sled riders!
          

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
2 posted 2005-02-28 10:36 PM


I love winter walks, I too, have a black leather coat and gloves, but I like to walk with someone to keep warm ~

This poem flowed so well,
the words fell so softly from
my lips, like the snow falling itself from your poem!

Soft and warm, even though it was about winter...

~Love and Hugs
~ARH


We attract hearts by the qualities we display, we retain them by the qualities we possess.~Jean Baptiste Antoine Suard


Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
3 posted 2005-02-28 10:43 PM



Thank you, miscellanea,
T’was my attempt to add motion to the words
Pleased you enjoyed it

Thank you, A Romantic Heart,
I tried to take the demon/cat with me
But he saw over six inches of snow on the ground outside the door
And refused
Him with a fur coat.
It was an interesting walk
Pleased you liked the poetic result
Now for a little mulled wine

Gloom


A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
4 posted 2005-02-28 10:52 PM


LOL..demon cat, cats are picky.

Well,I would have joined you, even though I don't own a fur coat and I
would like to share that bottle of
wine, pour me a glass please....I'll be right
over!

Your words contain motion already, but I like how you displayed your words, nice added touch~class
~Love and Hugs
~ARH


We attract hearts by the qualities we display, we retain them by the qualities we possess.~Jean Baptiste Antoine Suard


miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2005-02-28 10:54 PM


I thought you were trying to add pause and fluctuation...movement/vibration.  Thanks for clarifying.
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