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Open Poetry #35
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2005-02-27 10:30 PM


{And this}


Under black sky
I sleep to empty dreams
pressed like a butterfly to glass


in stillness sings
the blue of winds
and shadows meet the
coming fog
& mist through light

in breath, I inhale
to  know the heart of you is close
that I could bleed
across empty sky
and endless night
to remember the edge
of two souls


the heart-beat will ache
to hold the contour of grey
for  this tiny dancer in arms of gold

sketching the remains
in dust and sand

so that
when it rains,
I will stand at the window
to trace the trickle
of spiral water,
and know it is the edge of you
tucked behind my eyes

I will await this day
in colored view
and pray  dragonflies
will lay softly across
quiet times
playing  summer nights
in warm air

thinking of   your softness
and how it reminds me



~
I can not breathe
when you are not here

~~**~~

{I-M-D}just because


~~*~~
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
~~**~~

© Copyright 2005 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2005-02-27 10:42 PM


"so that
when it rains,
I will stand at the window
to trace the trickle
of spiral water,
and know it is the edge of you
tucked behind my eyes"

*
"thinking of   your softness
and how it reminds me


~
I can not breathe
when you are not here
"

wow...wow...wow....LOVED this!! You are one amazing lady...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2005-02-27 10:46 PM


offering a gentle hug
and a sigh

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

3 posted 2005-02-28 06:55 AM


Very good...choice of words inspired...thank you..

Goldenrose.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

sweetpoetess
Member
since 2005-02-27
Posts 428
Florida
4 posted 2005-02-28 07:09 AM


  This is so very beautiful.

Poetry is beauty in words.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-02-28 10:50 AM


sis...
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2005-02-28 10:54 AM


Beautiful write lovely lady~
And the closing lines..?  WOW!!!
Hugs~


~ The most beautiful poem ever written..
    was written by you in my heart ~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2005-02-28 10:59 AM


never ever is there a time, when I click on your name, and I'm left feeling like the lion who has just been given courage, heart and awareness...

This was a tremendous read...

Hugs to you sweet lady

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2005-02-28 11:06 AM


I have never told you this..

but, everytime, without fail, when I read your words there is always at least one line, one word so well placed that it causes me to catch my breath.

*nodding*  yep...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2005-02-28 11:16 AM


thank you all....for taking time to read and for your heartfelt replies....muwwwahhhhs and hugsssss

~~*~~
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
~~**~~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2005-02-28 02:48 PM


*sigh* always beautifully you
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2005-02-28 03:23 PM


Lovely Lauren

Mxx

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

12 posted 2005-02-28 03:25 PM


Wow...this is so beautiful!

Eric

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
13 posted 2005-02-28 03:49 PM


Exquisite Lauren !    hugs, Chris

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
~ Javan

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
14 posted 2005-02-28 04:08 PM


Greeneyes,
   Immediately I was enveloped by these fragile words.  

"Under black sky
I sleep to empty dreams
pressed like a butterfly to glass"

  ~miscellanea


Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

15 posted 2005-02-28 04:30 PM


"I can not breathe
when you are not here"
Oh, you are a poet after my own heart!

Rf

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2005-02-28 05:23 PM


in breath, I inhale
to  know the heart of you is close
that I could bleed
across empty sky
and endless night
to remember the edge
of two souls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sketching the remains
in dust and sand

so that
when it rains,
I will stand at the window
to trace the trickle
of spiral water,
and know it is the edge of you
tucked behind my eyes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

time and again your write the emotions that I have pushed deep and no longer try to turn into verse, and as always you do it in your delicate, unique, style.
lovely lovely write poetess L.

one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ...
~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2005-02-28 07:28 PM


liked it
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2005-02-28 08:48 PM


Oh Jesus, Lauren:

I could bleed
across empty sky
and endless night
to remember the edge
of two souls


I know that feeling of not being able to breathe . . .


Opoetry4me
Member
since 2002-10-11
Posts 126
Dixon, Ky USA
19 posted 2005-02-28 08:55 PM


Gosh... Isn't it nice to breath instead of gasp. Lovely poem!
exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada
20 posted 2005-03-02 12:02 PM


amazing.
i could feel the flow to this in my bones.

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
21 posted 2005-03-02 07:11 PM


not yet able to exhale after reading these words .....

    .... and turning many shades of blue.
                             breathless

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