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Open Poetry #35
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suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2005-02-25 04:05 PM


liar...

liar...

liar...


Whispered or screamed,
such accusation
is hollow echo
a mad refrain
battering my brain,
slipping the skin from my bones.

liar...

liar...

leave...


Endlessly I packed
meaningless mementos
but my suitcase was still empty
as I walked out the door,
turning my back on
all that went before,
Knowing it followed anyway.

liar...

you are...

nothing...


How does your voice
reach from the grave,
turning my dreams
into screams that
leave me meaningless,
disappearing in the echoes
of a fiercely whispered

NO



© Copyright 2005 suthern - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2005-02-25 04:17 PM


I don't know, but this reminds me of a verbally abusive relationship!  
And I so understand how words can haunt one's soul.

Hugs, suthern gal~

Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
2 posted 2005-02-25 04:17 PM


Yes!!! I love it.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2005-02-25 05:12 PM


you never forget certain things

this aches dear lady

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
4 posted 2005-02-25 05:14 PM


Oh this does hurt to read....excellent poetry is often called beautiful....no, not this time -- just excellent, but with things behind it which leave the B-word meaningless.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2005-02-25 05:17 PM


Suthern, aches my heart to read, so what is it doing to your kind soul? best marty
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2005-02-25 06:20 PM


Wow!  What a punch - well done -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2005-02-25 07:47 PM


Endlessly I packed
meaningless mementos
but my suitcase was still empty

~*~

These are the strongest lines, m'dear...
strong, clear, and full of knowing.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
8 posted 2005-02-25 09:34 PM


Such intensity, suthern!  May I amplify a phrase better suited for you?  "You are something, a real special SOMEBODY."  Well written, bringing out a subtle fury in me. Very often I can easily end a response and commence reading a different poem.  Not this time--this sticks.

        miscellanea

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
9 posted 2005-02-26 12:13 PM


You have penned this so well.  Hard story, and a sad situation.

JL

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2005-02-26 07:45 AM


How does your voice
reach from the grave,
turning my dreams
into screams that
leave me meaningless,
disappearing in the echoes
of a fiercely whispered

NO


Best closing I've ever seen you write, suthern gal. Suitcase filled with meaningless mementos and it's still empty...you have some wonderful visuals and lines in the poem...wow.

Beyond impressed here.....

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2005-02-26 08:03 AM


suthern
Read Balladeer again, it's what I would have said had I his talent. Have a good day.
and another WOW from me.

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2005-02-26 08:56 AM


SweetSuthernGal~
I'm joining the 'wowsers' on this piece~
Emotion flowing intensely here~

Take this and wear it tightly~
Love you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2005-02-26 09:44 AM


This packs some wordpower~~~

It's always good to get it out, isn't it?

M

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2005-02-26 12:39 PM


Great write - sounds to me the person is on the right track now.

What's past is prologue.
William Shakespeare

~ Carpe' Diem ~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2005-02-28 09:09 AM


"liar"...

we have the same dreams...

being lied to is the one thing I will not, ever, put up with...at least anymore.

  (my "suitcase" was empty as well..and when I realized it, it made the trip so much easier).

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

16 posted 2005-02-28 02:09 PM


ah lady how odd that dreams can take on the form of friend or foe....and this one is not a friend...bid it begone, embrace it no more.....
as said above, most poetry of this calibur is excellent and beautiful, this is excellant........sigh

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2005-02-28 03:49 PM


Blues, Cloud & PS: Thank you so very much, kind ladies! *S*

Jamie: You’re right… no beauty here. *S* Thank you, my friend - so much. *S*

latearrival & miscellanea: I could hug you both for your responses… thank you so very much!

Susan & JL: Thank you for your kind acceptance – it means a lot to me! *S*

Sunshine, Bal & Seymour: Thank you very much for finding lines to your liking. *S*

Marge & Mysteria: Thank you very much!

Susan C & nakdthoughts & jellybeans: I thank you all very much for your kind comments! *S*

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

18 posted 2005-02-28 05:07 PM


Endlessly I packed
meaningless mementos
but my suitcase was still empty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

as always Im the tardy moth
power piercing write here... this style suits your pen well...the formatting added an extra punch to your poignant expression...well done poetess of the mighty pen.

one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ...
~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

19 posted 2005-02-28 05:59 PM


a screaming whisper, indeed!  powerful!

Rf

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
20 posted 2005-02-28 07:27 PM


liked it
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
21 posted 2005-03-01 05:25 PM


JM: How can a post be tardy... when it came just at the right time... and said just the right thing. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

Robert: Thank you very much! *S*

vandana: I'm glad - thank you! *S*


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