navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » No One Is Around
Open Poetry #35
Post A Reply Post New Topic No One Is Around Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635


0 posted 2005-02-23 08:24 PM



No One Is Around

Don’t ask questions of the boy’s mother,
she will only prove the thickness
of blood, and guts,
providing homilies of open ears
and a loosely empty brain
letting things slide through as it were…

no, don’t ask questions
of the boy’s mother.

But listen when she talks,
when no one is around
and you will hear of days of regret
when picking berries,
stomping on more than a few;
of rounding geese and wringing necks;
and every Sunday chicken’s feathers
were plucked cleanly, with a vengeance.

Then you won’t wonder why
carpets were beaten so austerely,
bed sheets that could bounce quarters,
windows that were squeaked clean,
when dour became her smile.

“He didn’t fall so far,” the hoped-for smile
of grateful is still a dream,
as even weathered dull blue eyes
take in more than she wants to see,
as she’s reflected now in your face.

There is no convenience in modern day gadgets,
and even iron skillets are thought of only
as a chicken’s final resting place.

We have no where to lay our frustration
for dad’s only living son.

Not in this world.
Give me a chicken, please,
I’ll make supper.

© Copyright 2005 Decaflame - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2005-02-23 09:10 PM


Wow...this one hurts to read.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2005-02-23 09:19 PM


Ouch...agreeing with Ed, Deca...you brought the feelings and the scenes into view so clearly...the mark of a good writer, of course.  
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2005-02-23 09:26 PM


"But listen when she talks,
when no one is around"

Deca, you have sensitive ears, and hear even the quiet heartbeats. Good to read you again.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2005-02-23 10:37 PM


Awesome writing Dear Deca.
Hugs, Chris

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2005-02-24 07:27 AM


hmmmm ms deca

I enjoy what you have
between your lines

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2005-02-24 08:52 AM


wow....this is superb, deep...and painful.  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2005-02-24 08:53 AM


wow
kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
8 posted 2005-02-24 08:55 AM


Many strong statements
Veiling tortured days and nights
Longing for release

Well told but sad story.  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2005-02-24 09:10 AM


You certainly can tell a story ~ be it true or otherwise.

Deca, you can reeaally write!!! You stirred up all kinds of memories for me ~  nostalgic ones from this lifetime and some from another!

Literally gut=wrenching at points.

Brava, Deca! Very well-written piece of poetry.

Love, Light & the Eternal Flame,
EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (02-24-2005 11:36 PM).]

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-02-24 09:18 AM


astounding write and read...and totally in agreement with those above me....wonderfully executed
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2005-02-24 11:34 AM


Such a powerful poem... with an ending that goes straight to the heart. Wonderful work!!
Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

12 posted 2005-02-24 02:35 PM


wow!  you have breathed so much life into a snapshot of time.  so strong, i can smell, touch, taste and hear.  i've read and reread a half dozen times, and it moves . . . has a sadness that sticks to you.  I haven't read much of your poetry . . . will be looking for more!

Rf

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
13 posted 2005-02-24 02:46 PM


All of the above. Too much hurt, very revealing, sad. best, marty
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
14 posted 2005-02-24 11:16 PM


Deca,
  Wow.  This is timely.  My son volunteered to "put down" his first chicken last week.  It had a bad leg and could hardly walk.  He thought it would be easy, but found that it was not!  There are many pleasures in life on a farm, but can be many frustrations as well.  
  I really enjoyed reading this, although of its nature, it is sad.
             ~miscellanea

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

15 posted 2005-02-28 03:49 PM


I was thinking exactly what Martie said as I was reading this.
I could see it all and feel it all, sad yes...but magnificently told.

a

Maree


and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
16 posted 2005-02-28 07:30 PM


good read
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » No One Is Around

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary