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Open Poetry #35
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1999 Please read it through or dont read it - I will rewrite it
| Open Poetry #35 |
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1999 Please read it through or dont read it - I will rewrite it |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
I play roulette and never lose, the ball is molten steel Yes I know the stakes are hell But I do it for the thrill I see a woman Running bluff and watch her read my soul She nods me to bow and scape But for me it's no great deal Can I bluff and why not, I have done so all of my life I look into her eyes and see the molten fire that's strife I look onto her breasts and to desire do I stare Smoke rises from her fingers and I look everywhere She turns my first card over A soul for my very own What more could any man desire Or wish for to atone This is no soul I heard her say This your knell without delay I consider the knell and raise my heart Another soul has come apart Then another card to take Another smile to part and someone else to foresake A willow tree blowing in the wind A girl who made me think And all I offered her was sin and that was my mistake I left her heart on a lonely path and parted with a grin I forfeit my pride for the third card The wind blowing nature's way Just a pretty picture, a girl's face here again Leaving her at the door as the wind came in Leaving her, her love And the child we helped begin Now she turns her cards up A soul in watery depths Not one you remember nor bound by nor kept It was the soul of someone who cared enough for you To give you all her soul and her liberty too The second card is turned A skeleton in the breeze Unable to cope with sin Seeking her heart's freeze Now the third card A girl without anyone Freezing in the winter Leaving the life you had begun She turned my cards up You placed your soul as a bet But there was no soul, just upset All you raised was your ego And considered that your soul House rules here are different And so to bluff we go And by your belief You are considered to have a soul You raised your heart for the willow The willow is strenth and work Everything you sneered at And when it was offered just shirked Perhaps the knell has hope for you No-one else would try No-one else has offered much For you there was only lies You forfeited your pride For the wind that blows to hell An interesting combination Or is this to be your knell Your knell will land without pride or heart How can you succeed when you can never start I dont control my fate as you make so clear And as I have no soul what can I hold so dear Your eyes can plunge deep beneath my mind But what is there, left for you to find Your flame can't hurt a soul that you say does not matter Or are your words nothing, just the rain at pitter, patter Do you want a begging bowl for your eager pleadings Or do you want blood or is that your soul bleeding In this game you raised a belief in your very soul You bluffed with your ego now you tell me to find the hole If I was late I was coming back To see they were ok And now I've come to hell So burn me to a fray This place is living hell And you want me to repent But I did all they ever needed It wasn't innocence You took them and you used them Then left them to die The count of souls to condemn you Would stand and watch you fry So burn my non-existent soul if you want the hell I smile at a woman and they love a dangerous smell They want it rough and ready a dangerous man to keep Someone to protect them and keep excited in their sleep Someone to love and leave them So they know heartbreak Do you think I do for me it is for their own sake If I wasn't there then who the blame would take I was frightened of hell now you lord it high Do what you want with me I will never see the sky So don't waste my time nor knell Why do you think I'm here in hell I have only two questions She smiled at the knell Who said you were staying And who told you this was hell?. |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Heh-heh-heh.....I can think of a whole bunch of years I'd like to rewrite..... Having said that, now I'll go actually read this poem! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
James We never did it in harm not did we betray honesty. Dave |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
wow~ intense~ I really liked this one~ got my attention~ written, nicely smooth, nice flow excellant one Dave |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
excellent! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Marsha and Lee I wrote this and it was cluggy. I read it again tonight and I might leave it as it is. Thanks for your words and thoughts. Dave |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Pretty cool poem idea, Dave! I've been afraid to look at my old stuff from 1999, it doesn't seem remotely like anything I would write now! Corinne |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Corinne I thought that but I read it again to last night and it seemed to capture what I intended which was a guy who didn't give a damn, and then when he was caught out tried bluff and then aggression. I still like the final lines as he gets hoisted by what I felt were parts of his anatomy. Dave |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
came back to read it again~ don't change it, cuz then i might not understand, lol, it's really good~ |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Thanks Marsha but I have now stopped writing poetry so I wont be changing it. Dave |
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