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Open Poetry #35
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California

0 posted 2005-02-13 12:51 PM


Dream of Fernando

He looked like my first love, from Avila,
dark eyes with something behind them that was hard.

He pulled me from a boat licking against a pier
far away from my home,
although the sound of the old wood
was like my grandmother’s rocking chair.

I was sent to be watchful
pero asustado realmente y solamente,
I remember drinking something pink
that made me dizzy;
and later driving with him
down streets filled with snow.
It was night far too long when I realized
that in this place there was no day.

I was wearing hiking boots and full skirt,
the knife that they gave me cold and hard
against my ankle.
The shawl he put around me was soft and black
like his eyes as he told me it was his mothers.

I knew trust wasn’t a word any longer
but I did it anyway.

Everything was from the time before,
except I knew that in the layers of my shirt
I still carried my cell phone.
So,  in the back room out of sight of the mirrors
I watched Fernando make a deal with some gringo.
(all the time that song, “Hernando’s Hideaway” playing)

And I wanted to dance close with someone
no, that’s not true       with him,
because his eyes looked into me and saw
that I was really not me at all,
but someone else,
and I wanted to tell him to be careful,
he was the only one that knew.

Then I dialed your number
and it rang and rang and rang

and no one answered.

© Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2005-02-13 12:59 PM


Gosh Martie,  you paint perfectly another
side of life that so many live with,  and
sometimes choose...

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2005-02-13 01:28 PM


Goosebumps!

You have touched upon mystery's shores, dear Martie.

A jump into a different section of the Now.

Perfectly penned.

Love, Margherita

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2005-02-13 02:07 PM


What a dream...
a wonderful segue
into a book...

hint hint hint

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2005-02-13 02:43 PM


Kari is right!

go for it girl....Magnifique dear Martie.

one for my library.

Mxx

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2005-02-13 03:06 PM


Your versality in writing is showing, Dear Martie!

~ and you are a fine raconteur as well!


Linda

Midnitesun
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Gaia
6 posted 2005-02-13 08:10 PM


OMG! I began to hum that hideaway song from the title alone!
Incredible, what this write makes me feel, makes the song and moment more real than just what the memories can provide.
Dang. KEEPING this.

"It was night far too long when I realized
that in this place there was no day."
Oh yeah.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2005-02-13 08:49 PM


well, I realized after going back to read this again...for the manyeth time, that I got the song wrong.  In the dream, (which was very real, by the way) the name was Fernando...but in the song..it's "Hernando's Hideaway".  Must be a different guy.  Anyway, I changed it. Thanks so much for reading!
Ratleader
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8 posted 2005-02-13 11:42 PM



Here's the trick...take it from one who has dreamed many dreams only to awaken in a ringing, wringing darkness: In the dream....be sure you call the right number.


See what you did??? You carried me right along, so that I responded to what the poem is saying, rather than the written words..... anybody looking for a definition of good writing? Don't look here for it; go read the poem at the top of this thread, and see some.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2005-02-14 07:38 AM


but in dreams
it was answered
before it even rang


enjoyed this lady

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
10 posted 2005-02-14 11:44 AM


Le saludo, pero recuerdo:

Nunca el baile con un hombre que debe sostener secretos a fin de vivir.

*smile*

*hug*

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2005-02-14 05:23 PM


A joy to read...James
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2005-02-14 06:03 PM


Stunned........I love reading dreams.  Felt like I was there.   ......jo
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
13 posted 2005-02-14 06:38 PM


Wow!  Why do I relate?  Suppose i've dialed a few wrong numbers because of impatience!  Enjoyed, Martie.   And here I thought this was going to be about Ferdinand the Bull!

I so enjoy your writing.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
14 posted 2005-02-14 06:42 PM


This is quite a mysterious piece, Martie.

Remarkedly like a dream and yet i see you somewhere in the darkest Mexico, hiking over the mountains in the jungles.


Corinne

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2005-02-14 07:42 PM


Wonderful writing, dear Martie. And, it
seemed so real, too.
Hugs,

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
16 posted 2005-02-17 05:12 PM


Martie - what a great poem - so vivid and so well done - I just love reading what you write - Paul
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2005-02-17 06:00 PM




what an enjoyable read

regards
sudhir

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