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Open Poetry #35
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-02-13 04:11 AM


"You know," she said,
and she sat nervous,
hands in twitch of twine of yarn--
as if she had some more to say
I don't believe I'd seen that done--
the balling up of life undone
and like the literature I'd grazed
just like the movies
she portrayed
she sat and rolled herself apart--
and licked the frays of lingered heart,
of fingers splayed the dancing of
the moments of the lathe:


"I thought--"
she lied -
a hesitate:
"I knew.."
she sighed.
I knew.
I ate
the note
she wrote
to me that said
an instant
of the grace
in full
of down toward my lap
and guessed
"I couldn't"
do this blush
of breath
as if I were a dog that
thrushed
the birds
to fly to their own grave -
will you love me anyway?

as she shot herself.

I worked the knots
of yarn let go...
spooling reckless
in the heap
of the plots
where we begin
the simple fuss
of love and this
is somehow where it all would end--

She couldn't let him down.

I knew.

My fingers had just dug the grave.

My thoughts were hinges
eagering
trespass of what is
agreed
tossing back the deeds
of me

as if I were a gospel song

as if I were

like her

but strong

I fed the strand
to nervous plans
as she balled up all her life
"I wish..." she said
in tremor's stand,
"I wish that I could knit my life"

and curve it like a hardball thrown

I moaned

and danced the witnessing

the word

as is

my own

I gave

the spit of knuckles

white

and prayed

and knit a perl times two.

*  *  *


( a repost, edited)


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (02-13-2005 05:14 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2005-02-13 04:48 AM


"I couldn't let him down" ...

Yes, towards the end, there is the pondering over what can't be changed anymore, wondering what would be if we could begin anew.

This is masterfully rendered here, dear Serenity!

Love,
Margherita

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2005-02-13 05:07 AM


Margherita? thank you for your patience as I edited my sins.

yer lovely.

Lady Ollyne
Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 337
East Coast
3 posted 2005-02-13 06:52 AM


wow, wow, wow..give me some of that
Darn it!!!! I forgot who I was last evening and I am too lazy today to think up a Lady O response...
besides I awoke with a pounding of a headache...so it is only normal I have forgotten who I am!

M

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2005-02-13 06:58 AM


sighhhh, you move me beyond words m'lady.



mxx


and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2005-02-13 08:12 AM



The metaphor of knitting a life,
unraveling our mistakes,
trying again...

I use to knit...
one has to be a calm person...
otherwise the mistakes
are quite obious.

Well done!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2005-02-13 01:34 PM



You have a rare and special gift that is expressed through your uniquely creative and thought-provoking poetry. I can honestly say that I usually read a poem of yours at least twice to savor and appreciate the several layers that you so brilliantly interweave.


EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2005-02-13 05:27 PM


wow Linda. I cherish all who take the time to read and reply to my madness,  but that is one special reply. Thank you, m'friend.

A little moth told me that Valentine poetry makes her a tad cranky sometimes, so I was trying to put something else on the board here. My muse wasn't kicking in, so I reworked this one, and naturally, once I got started I couldn't stop.

Thank you all for reading.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2005-02-13 05:36 PM


When we realize the commonalities we have with others and the examples set, then make our own choices to be stronger....that is a gift of compassion, not only to the one we were thinking of but to ourselves, I think.  This thought provoking poem made me think of my neighbor when I was growing up...who could not rewind the ball of yarn or knit it into anything....she reached the place where choices are made.  I witnessed the outcome of her choice upon her children.  All I can say is that I think "regrouping" and trying to knit it back together is the best we can do.  Love you, lady, and this very sensitive piece of knitting...........jo
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2005-02-13 05:40 PM


jo-jo? You found the thread I was trying weave through this.

I wrote with a friend in mind. I lost her to suicide over two decades ago. I like to think that somewhere, somehow, she knows she is not forgotten.

thank you

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2005-02-13 05:47 PM


you are very much more that welcome, you know.  My neighbor did the same.  I really do understand.  Love, you
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2005-02-13 06:10 PM


She does, honey, she knows.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2005-02-13 06:43 PM


Hard to know what to say sometimes, ya know?


*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
13 posted 2005-02-13 07:00 PM




~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000*    Journal!

Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

14 posted 2005-02-13 11:25 PM


i've been open to your poem for such a long time k.
here with it on the screen, and rereading.
and thinking and reading again. it's had me. it has.


'as if I were

like her

but strong',...

it strikes and stirs me.  


ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
15 posted 2005-02-13 11:33 PM


What a valentine this is Karen...
For real!

Unique, self evident, warm and disarming.
Pure.
TD

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
16 posted 2005-02-14 12:11 PM


K,

*laughing* because I posted something before I read this . . .

random acts of kindness . . .
that is what you are . . .
and do.

Stop fretting.
*smile*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2005-02-14 12:19 PM


I put off reading this one
something just said I wasn't ready yet

that's all I'll say right now

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2005-02-14 12:37 PM


serenity,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Change the colors of white light
Or walk each brilliant shade of hew
And weave a shawl just for you

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