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Open Poetry #35
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917


0 posted 2005-02-12 09:45 PM


It was a dark and hot night
The battlements were drawn
Images glided switching space
Before positions
Finally drawn

Spikes came down wood early raised
Fought in silent battles
That others in haze
Paid
In the glare of a rabbits night

Mothers sisters swarming with belief of Queen Bee
Leaving the discussion of carcase for the workers
Who failed
To support the winning bee
And the hive

For all would favour the Queen Bee
Soldiers would march for her
Workers salivate
And feelings would run high
By the gates

So a Queen arrives
Heralded at the gate
Taking to the air
She moves
To concentrate

Now a swarm of bees
Follows
An idea
Despising nature
They swarm

And on a winters day
They find their own way
Driven by belief
They find relief
And an old tree

By the way

© Copyright 2005 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2005-02-13 01:12 AM


I like the way this just rolls off the tongue but has levels of meaning that require a second and possibly a third reading. Good job with this.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2005-02-13 04:44 AM


And on a winters day
They find their own way
Driven by belief
They find relief
And an old tree


Great metaphores in this one, dear Dave, as I see it.

Love, Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2005-02-13 08:05 AM



It is natural...
it is nature.

Enjoyed this very much, Dave.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2005-02-13 04:57 PM


Great write, Dave!  
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

5 posted 2005-02-13 05:23 PM


Kethry

I like the way this just rolls off the tongue but has levels of meaning that require a second and possibly a third reading. Good job with this.
Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown

It was an offshoot of an idea but there is only one Queen in the Hive.

Thanks

Dave

Margherita

And on a winters day
They find their own way
Driven by belief
They find relief
And an old tree


Great metaphores in this one, dear Dave, as I see it.

Love, Margherita

Thanks Margherita

I suppose I do a cop out in my poems but the swarm having left with the defeated Queen, if still alive finds a place but it is always just postponing the future.

Dave

Sunshine


It is natural...
it is nature.

Enjoyed this very much, Dave.

Thanks Sunshine but then we start killing each other and it is wrong.

The strength determining power of Government leaves it built on strength not intelligence and a better strategy always works so more suffer through strength without thought than weakness with intelligence which allows people to empower themselves.

Dave


iliana

Great write, Dave!  

Thanks iliana.

Dave


froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
6 posted 2005-02-14 08:07 PM


Hi Dave,
  This is a superb write.
Enjoyed the read.

:-)

Within this heart you'll find love

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

7 posted 2005-02-14 08:21 PM


Thanks Froggy.

Dave

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
8 posted 2005-02-25 01:24 AM


great write~


A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
9 posted 2005-02-25 06:36 AM


I agree with the above, brilliant writing!

~ARH

We attract hearts by the qualities we display, we retain them by the qualities we possess.~Jean Baptiste Antoine Suard


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