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Open Poetry #34
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The Forbidden Ruins
| Open Poetry #34 |
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The Forbidden Ruins |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk 
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In youth, Hath others places, Seemed much bigger in a small man's world- O great wonderous youthful minds! Don't thy think of sea? O that thousand's wonder! These ruins left behind it seems; Be the climbing frame of age. If heaven were a paradise upon earth, Be it not destoryed by men! Left to turn to aged-old ruins- Forbidden passage by the Noble Knights Protector's of the land; Thy light gone out, O bitter wasteland! Lashed upon by other lights- An desert in the sun Still wonder what lies beneath; The Race that now in none. With thee laughing at myside, We'd search like hunters; Clinging to the copper find- As if it were gold held Between the palm of our hands, Then we'd drink a skin of water- Pretending to be drunk on Wine We were free to do as we liked. Sometimes we'd explore the unexplored, Hide and seek were a dangerous game- Afraid of getting lost Finding bones along the way; In a tomb without knowing- We'd spent most of that day Playing amongst the dead. In youth, Hath other places, Seemed much bigger in a small man's world- Now of age looking back with a smile Past-time were the thing of memories! In age, Hath the ocean's Seemed much bigger in a big man's world- Always exploring the unexplored As i sail from my shore, Away; i'll never forgetting the ruins, Or the times we shared, Dearest. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Soulfisher Member
since 2005-01-07
Posts 226where ever the fly fishing is good |
in age, hath other places would we seem much bigger in small mans world though it was the only thing ever fleeting |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Hi RSEB. I like this. Very well done. Need to tighten up the language a bit...but over all a fine poetic piece. Just fix the couple of lines with grammar mistakes and you'd have a piece Shakespeare himself might have penned. An desert in the sun - A desert in the sun With thee laughing at myside - With thee laughing at my side These are two examples. There are a couple more. Run this through spell checker and grammar checker my friend...and it will be perfect. |
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