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Open Poetry #34
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2005-02-09 09:26 AM



Even in the dark,
especially then,
I like to watch lights flicker.
Starlight twirl away
in a sky that’s purple when I dream.
But it’s only black tonight.
And I’m sure it dreams of me the same;
with color.
And my eyes sparkle
as if they were full of life.
And I am vibrant when twilight dreams of me.

But I’m only black tonight.
And the stars lay motionless.
Starving, choking and
they don’t dare to dream
because it hurts to think of
beauty while life rests
sobbing, cold.




He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

© Copyright 2005 GG - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2005-02-09 09:29 AM


But I’m only black tonight.
And the stars lay motionless.
Starving, choking and
they don’t dare to dream
because it hurts to think of
beauty while life rests
sobbing, cold.

feeling this Alyssa...hugs...

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
2 posted 2005-02-09 09:54 AM


Gentle Spirit,
Thank you, and hugs back. Really you should all forgive me for this one. I wrote it at 5:15 this AM  while I was supposed to be doing my homework. And wrote it on the page that was supposed to be an essay about the Great Depression. Oh well. Thanks for your reply this morning, hope your day goes well...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2005-02-09 10:02 AM


GG
Sad but well written.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2005-02-09 10:37 AM


strange how the mind wanders when one thinks about the Great Depression

you know I'm here

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2005-02-09 04:57 PM


WOW....Alyssa, I like the way you are able to create so much contrast with these two verses.  Exquisite poetry, GG.  I bet you makes A's in English; no make that A+'s.  Anyway...the last part made me sad...I like to think of you more like the first part.   ...jo
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2005-02-09 05:15 PM


Nice writing...James
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
7 posted 2005-02-09 08:00 PM


Contemplating the gret depression would make anyone see black - my parents lived through it and tell stories - and yet - the heart that people had to help one another no matter what little they had to give is an inspiration -

glad for the colors -

  Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
8 posted 2005-02-09 11:21 PM


You are a blessing. Good writing. best,marty
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2005-02-09 11:30 PM


Alyssa, you are one talented poetess! The depth and the maturity of your writing astounds me!

Sending some starlight to "lighten" your nights!

Loves 'n hugs,
Linda

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2005-02-10 05:14 PM


Y'know, you and Dark Angel always leave me in such a reflective nature when I read your works...

I read this one last night, too...

and couldn't quite find the words to respond.  A thank you will have to do for now...

for your talent, and for your sharing...

Red Dreams
Member
since 2005-01-09
Posts 90
massachusetts
11 posted 2005-02-11 10:33 AM


I love the metaphysical shifting....this is very strong.
choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
12 posted 2005-02-11 11:17 AM


Poignant, bittersweet, sad but with such hope...You stir me deeply and touch the Divine when you write:

"And I am vibrant when twilight dreams of me."

Thank you ~P

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2005-02-11 06:50 PM


SweetGirl~

'I’m only black tonight.
And the stars lay motionless.
Starving, choking and
they don’t dare to dream
because it hurts to think of
beauty while life rests
sobbing, cold.'


*sigh* ... feeling this one more than I want to~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
14 posted 2005-02-14 10:30 AM


Sey,
thanks, sir

Dix,
and I'm glad that you are... thank you, hugs...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2005-02-14 10:34 AM


jo,
the only class I ever made an A+ in was horticulture. It was an easyyy class, even with my brown thumb lol ...and if I keep writing poetry instead of essays then I certainly won't be making any A's this semester! Thanks for your words :hugs Take care...

James,
Glad you think so. Thank ya...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
16 posted 2005-02-14 10:39 AM


Susan,
I agree. I used to sit and listen to my grandma tell stories about the depression. I miss that, because now that I can understand it and study it more thproughly I'd love to hear them again. There are two sides so extreme with all raise in suicides and yet all the people who grouped together to help their neighbors or friends, literally giving everything they had to save anothers life or even their pride... Very amazing. Thanks for your reply, I'm glad for the colors too when they're there.

Marty,
As are you Thank you much...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
17 posted 2005-02-14 10:42 AM


Linda,
always surprises me when people say that... not sure I believe it! But thank you and I hope your nights are full of starlight as well.

Sunshine,
Thank you. I just scribbled what was on my mind... you took the time to read it, find meaning in it, and reply to it, of which I find much more respect in...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
18 posted 2005-02-14 10:46 AM


Red Dreams,
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I hope you're like the blue pages. It's great to have you here

choshi,
it's not often that there is hope in what I write... I have it, but it just doesn't show through as much as it should. So I'm glad that you see hope in this. Thank you very much...

Marge,
oh don't feel this too much dear lady... it's a painful ache which you don't deserve to feel. God bless you...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

19 posted 2005-02-16 02:57 PM


I just love the way you write, if I see your name, clicking on the title is not optional *s*
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
20 posted 2005-02-17 05:01 PM


This awesome piece simply aches.
Very, well done. Enjoyed. Chris

You said you'd give me light-
But you never told me about the fire
Stevie Nicks

River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
21 posted 2005-02-18 03:52 AM


hey this is cool, i really liked the title, the poem too, especially this part;

'beauty while life rests
sobbing, cold.'

nice!

i liked it =)

How can I stand here and not be moved by you? - Lifehouse

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
22 posted 2005-02-23 01:37 AM


jellybeans,
i've always loved the way you write, as well, so that's a big compliment! Though I should warn you I seem to switch styles all the time and some just don't turn out too great lol ...good to have your words here, thank you.  

Chris,
unfortunately I tend to do those achy ones a lot. This one was just a bit too much of watching the stars after a long, sad day. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you... take care.  

River,
Glad you liked! I had a different ending there for awhile but finally decided it was no good and changed it to that, so I'm glad it was appreciated. Was sort of trying to catch that moment when you see something beautiful but all it does is ache because of how little beauty you see in your life. Anyway, seems I'm really talkative tonight. Thank you for your reply... Oh and great signature... Lifehouse is one of my absolute favorite bands. Good song...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

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