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Open Poetry #34
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Jack & Jill
| Open Poetry #34 |
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Jack & Jill |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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The rising sun casts a red glow through blue air Your house on the corner lies still in gray shadows I see a lamp come on in your attic room On our yards a light snow drifts down |
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| © Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what a scene so vivid in a few words |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
PS Thanks This is one of my favorites by virtue of a response I got on another site which I quote below, (except for one word): Dear John, “ What is it about this that so impresses you? “ Well, I’m no master of critique. It’s hard to put into words… like you said, it is a mood piece. Simply put, I like the way it made me feel. It made me feel something – unlike so many other poems out there. I’m not trying to be evasive, but… what is it about Van Gogh that makes his paintings move me? For the life of me I could not tell you. I do like the way you start with color… then switch to the house in grey shadows… and then the lamp in the attic, and snow following that… I may be off base on your intent – but for me there seemed to be a sense of hope there… or something mysterious happening…. Most of all I found it to be a thing of beauty… the way you worded it… I don’t know… it just moved me. And the most important test of any poem (for me) is if it stays with you… this stayed in my mind hours after I read it, and I found myself reflecting on it. S, John… it made me feel. There is so much well crafted poetry that seems hollow inside that I read. This is well crafted AND it does not seem hollow. . . Sorry I can’t be more precise. But I did like it – a lot. Cordially, ........................... The writer summarized what I was hoping to achieve for a reader; it made me feel very good Again, thanks for reading. John |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It's a visual masterpiece, John! That's what's good about it!  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
It is a painting, alright. Very nice to read it, too. |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
It is a very good one. the comment is good. finally there are out there someone who can read you mind roughly about this poem. |
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