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Passions in Poetry

Jack & Jill

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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


0 posted 02-07-2005 12:16 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Huan Yi


The rising sun
casts a red glow
through blue air

Your house
on the corner
lies still
in gray shadows

I see a lamp
come on in your attic room

On our yards a light snow
drifts down


© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


1 posted 02-07-2005 12:36 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

what a scene
so vivid in a few words
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


2 posted 02-07-2005 12:57 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

PS

Thanks


This is one of my favorites by virtue of a response I got on another site
which I quote below, (except for one word):

Dear John,

“ What is it about this that so impresses you? “

Well, I’m no master of critique.

It’s hard to put into words… like you said, it is a mood piece.

Simply put, I like the way it made me feel. It made me feel something – unlike so many other poems out there. I’m not trying to be evasive, but… what is it about Van Gogh that makes his paintings move me? For the life of me I could not tell you.

I do like the way you start with color… then switch to the house in grey shadows… and then the lamp in the attic, and snow following that… I may be off base on your intent – but for me there seemed to be a sense of hope there… or something mysterious happening…. Most of all I found it to be a thing of beauty… the way you worded it…

I don’t know… it just moved me. And the most important test of any poem (for me) is if it stays with you… this stayed in my mind hours after I read it, and I found myself reflecting on it.

S, John… it made me feel. There is so much well crafted poetry that seems hollow inside that I read. This is well crafted AND it does not seem hollow. . .

Sorry I can’t be more precise. But I did like it – a lot.

Cordially,

...........................

The writer summarized what I was hoping to achieve for a reader; it made me
feel very good

Again, thanks for reading.

John

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 02-07-2005 10:44 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

It's a visual masterpiece, John! That's what's good about it!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


4 posted 02-07-2005 11:22 PM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

It is a painting, alright.  Very nice to read it, too.
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


5 posted 04-23-2007 06:34 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

It is a very good one.

the comment is good. finally there are out there someone who can read you mind roughly about this poem.

 
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