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Open Poetry #34
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-02-01 02:02 AM


some thing I just can't think about -
me -
who cannot seem to cease
the thinks
from standing there in line
to board the rollercoaster me
as the cart screams dangerous
in the curve ahead
I plead:
"plant your feet and pray"
for we
are riding on one rail.

some things I dare not think about -
me -
who never ceases dream
the brink
of all raw edge despair
tightening elastic string
calculating height and mass
devil-wing the depth
I weep:
"loose your feet and pray"
for we
have left no room to fail.

something    I won't care about -
me -
who cannot stop the tears
I blink
the waters of the tide
behind the levee of my lids
sandbag of the scars
I sigh:
"take a chance and pray"
for we
don't have much else to do.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (02-01-2005 04:32 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
1 posted 2005-02-01 02:07 AM


Wow - this is amazing and holding so much truth too.  Makes one think even though we don't care to.  
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2005-02-01 02:22 AM


"loose your feet and pray"
for we
have left no room to fail.

me thinks too much too.  But, me thinks you think on things that need to be thought about!  Truly, you share the solution in the ocean of this poem which hits us in swelling waves of tight rhythmic pattern, reflecting just how life feels right now.  Those waves do bring us to our knees. ....jo

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2005-02-01 04:44 AM


umm, WOW!



library

Mxx

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2005-02-01 07:21 AM


Karen:

to board the rollercoaster me
as the cart screams dangerous
in the curve ahead
I plead:
"plant your feet and pray"
for we
are riding on one rail.


I have never heard this described quite so
"right there"  before. I saw this, and you and geez, too much thinking makes us sick but I cannot help but DO anything but.  

I should also stop listening to that other self of mine, the one that leaps without thinking all the time. The one that looks back at me, grinning and laughing, flying through the air while I am standing there with a broom and dustpan, exhausted.  

This is one of my favorites from you because it just bleeds and it is beauty and so are you.  And I know this more than you realize.

*prayers, K*

Susie

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2005-02-01 09:22 AM



I know this...

oh yea...

I do.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2005-02-01 01:21 PM


what an ending *damn*
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

7 posted 2005-02-01 02:05 PM


A slick pathed, dangerous balancing act. Enjoyed your insomniac post.

Poets against the war is redundant

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2005-02-01 03:18 PM


Awesome writing!

Eric

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2005-02-01 07:13 PM


Thank you all for being so gracious --I prolly edited this one to ruin as I really WAS thinking too much. sigh

I twirl my hair when I do that too. You ever twirl your hair with a tiara on your head? (I suggest not) I almost had to cut my hair to remove it from those little combs.

So folks, the bets are on, will Karen survive another carnival season?

ow.

Thanks for reading. *hic*


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2005-02-01 10:31 PM


Karen

"something    I won't care about -
me -
who cannot stop the tears
I blink
the waters of the tide
behind the levee of my lids
sandbag of the scars
I sigh:"

You are one of the finest people I know...for many reasons, only one of them is the way you think!  

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
11 posted 2005-02-03 03:06 AM


Karen...All I can say is I am touched by the depth of this and the shear honesty of your heart and your poetry...Paul

Stay away from Jackson Square...Too many drunks are there.LOL

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
12 posted 2005-02-03 05:44 AM


you think quite...impressive
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