she still sees, Ugly - pipTalk Forums

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Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2005-01-28 04:57 PM

photo©snow "self#1"

~~~~~~~
"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache" ~neruda

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2005-01-28 04:59 PM

OMG this is intensely personal and incredibly poignant - your power to put emtion to paper is amazing - and heart rending -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

2 posted 2005-01-29 04:01 PM

More .... so much more ....

...even like the negative of you!

* S

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2005-01-29 07:50 PM

Woah...

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000* Journal!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2005-01-29 08:34 PM

The last stanza very aptly portrays resigned acceptance of futility. I found myself nodding in recognition as I read.

Very nice work here lady.

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

5 posted 2005-01-29 09:14 PM

you may have written better....but I never read it.

I am humbled now.

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

6 posted 2005-01-29 11:16 PM

robert, i don't know what to say.....

thank you. *hugs*

susan, you are an amazing writer than i admire very much and your thoughts truly touch me. thank you. **hugs**

craig....*hugs* thank you
alli, thank you

serenity blaze, i appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts with me. thank you.

~~~~~~~
"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache" ~neruda

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

7 posted 2005-01-30 10:18 AM

Thorns...life has more of them than any rose. Here's a suggestion: next time you prick a finger, on a thorn or anything else...place a drop of that blood (real or otherwise) in some place where you will see it from time to time. Just a drop, that's enough...and each time you see it, remind yourself of the things that really matter to you.

I did that, and I haven't been the same since.

~~J

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

8 posted 2005-01-30 12:47 PM

Whoa, these are the many ivy leaves that have overgrown the cemetary wall. This poem is replete with wrenching self mortification and resignation that seems a retrieved crumpled paper smoothed out as well as is possible. I suspect another close inspection of that x-ray would reveal far less angst than is first noticed. I really liked this (can you tell?)

Poets against the war is redundant

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2005-01-30 02:18 PM

Very powerful... I particularly like the last verse!

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

10 posted 2005-01-30 02:35 PM

raw, vivid, painful emotionally charged write...yet your words reveal a great strength and resolve to not succumb to the agony
your spirit is indomitable, lady Snow

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

11 posted 2005-01-30 08:40 PM

OMG! #1 must read poem of the day alert. Loved it! Hope you are doing well sweetie. If you need a pick-me-up look at my newest poem for you. LOL! It is titled - These Valentine Considerations. I think you will get what it says between the lines. lol

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

12 posted 2005-01-31 07:55 AM

Wow, my third read and I am still left speechless by the raw emotions of this piece...a standing ovation to you!!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

13 posted 2005-01-31 08:30 AM

you have touched me beyond words with this one Snow.....

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

14 posted 2005-01-31 04:27 PM

I am blown away by the sheer brilliance of your words. The responses that this poem evoked were very interesting as well, but I believe the one that reflects my sentiments the best is the one by Midnitesun.

You have a gift, dear rose of beauty.

EA

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

15 posted 2005-01-31 07:30 PM

Always outstanding work.

But this one is my favorite.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

16 posted 2005-01-31 07:57 PM

i've been so emotional for weeks ... all of these comments are so unexpected... you just have no idea how you've touched me.

thank you all so very much.

~~~~~~~
"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache" ~neruda

Annie78
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 469
here then there then back here

17 posted 2005-02-07 12:51 PM

My dear dear girl, I don't know what to say except that you have taken my breath away with this incredible insight into the pain some of us feel, and few recognize. Will be looking for more from you.
Annie

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