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Open Poetry #34
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2005-01-27 09:18 PM



Swan Song

He was only ten
and sometimes unsure
teasing seemed to aim its arrow
at him and he fell into thinking
something was wrong with him
with his skinny arms
with his freckles
something

At a park where the ducks were
he was scattering the birds
throwing pieces of bread
into the lake where two swans
were engaged in a love dance
their necks and heads bobbing

His mother explained it
when he was nine and full of questions,
neat is what he thought
into the warm spring day

Two boys with bats
snickering behind their hands
threw rocks
skipped the water
and caught one swan on the side

Anger grew inside him
as he headed towards the two
now collapsed in gales of laughter

They looked up in surprise
at the anger trembling blotched cheeks
the clenched fists
for the words that he hit them with
were power he learned that day
as he left the boys
sitting with their mouths open
  
He took off his jacket
flung it over his shoulder,
and holding it with one finger
he whistled as he walked away
knowing there was something right
something right about him
something
_________
1-24-01


© Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2005-01-27 09:29 PM


Sure was!  Compassion being a very good quality indeed.  Loved the scene in this almost a Norman Rockwell gone wrong then back good again, you know?
Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-01-27 09:37 PM


I remember this keeper.  I remember the power of it; which has not left this

I also remember
why.

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2005-01-27 09:43 PM


You knew me then -- well I'll be damned!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2005-01-28 08:22 AM


Martie,

I adore this because it reminds me of my own son, who has a beautiful soul and only those close to him see it.  Swan song indeed.  Just remember it is those that practice what they believe, like you have written that truly make a difference (for the good) in this world.  

Beautiful analogy.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-01-28 08:26 AM


Amazing Martie, beauty of depth in these words...
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2005-01-28 08:30 AM


power of compassion is great...and so are your words...building a picture perfect mind scene...lovely girl...thank you for sharing
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2005-01-28 03:21 PM


Oh my, this is sooo beautiful Martie.

Smiling wide here.. love you lady

Maree

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
8 posted 2005-01-28 03:50 PM


There are times that I could use a tune like that myself. (Smiles) I'm so glad that you gave me the opportunity to read your poem. Thank you for reposting. You are a wonderful story teller and, yes, he (the young boy) certainly did show a marvelous character trait here by restraining himself in a time, I'm sure, of anger and hostility as I was kind of feeling that way myself while only reading your poem. Enjoyed reading. (whistle-whistle). -Bob
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
9 posted 2005-01-28 07:51 PM


Having three sons,I can see how beautiful this is. thank you,marty
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
10 posted 2005-01-28 08:20 PM


Yay!  Love the ending -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
11 posted 2005-01-28 10:14 PM


A truly wonderful write, Martie.

Take care.........Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
12 posted 2005-02-06 09:02 AM


this is such a good story - I loved this Martie - thanks for sharing it again - Paul
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
13 posted 2005-02-06 10:04 AM


My goodness, dear friend, how you can paint a picture from memory...things like this give me hope that compassion lives among the discompassionet of this world...

I love "people" poems, and this one is very good...enjoyed it

__________ice
   ><>

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
14 posted 2005-02-06 10:10 AM


This is me as a kid....after I got past the mean stage, at least. But I wouldn't have led with words and probably still wouldn't....I have a really good throwing arm, and my words would follow an example to the kid of how it feels to be hit by a rock. There's no lesson quite so effective as feeling it yourself.



~~J

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2005-02-06 10:43 AM


good
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