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Open Poetry #34

Glances

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2005-01-17 08:41 PM

You’ll not alone
In life
Though you feel
No shadow would deign to spring a surprise on you
You always knew
In those glances
That you lived

All the time

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2005-01-17 10:08 PM

short and neat

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

2 posted 2005-01-18 03:36 AM

short and sweet and to the point a pleasure as always

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2005-01-18 07:17 PM

You’ll not alone
In life
Though you feel
No shadow would deign to spring a surprise on you
You always knew
In those glances
That you lived

All the time

~*~

Not a word changed
but spacing
allows the reader
to figure out what not alone
thing
they might do...

in a glance.

Good job, Dave.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2005-01-18 07:22 PM

Much enjoyed, Dave. Much said in those glances.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

5 posted 2005-01-19 03:36 PM

Thanks everyone.

I tend to use a next line for effect rather than spacing.

I am still old fashion to the point that I prefer to use the words to try and print the meaning on the inside of someone's eyelids rather than lead them to how I feel they should appreciate an image.

In photography I would consider foreground, background, middle ground and draw the eye to what I feel should be the image.

In words I try to avoid that.

regards

Dave

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