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Open Poetry #34
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lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho

0 posted 2005-01-16 03:59 AM



in the dawn of daylight
morning weeps snow like silence poise
falls in powder glisten within exchange I dream
squalls o’er my bed in motifs make head with
patterns shifting take I whisper inquisitive

inquiries ripple down corridors I
feel them whirl against
windows chill
forming
mist
over
frames
transparency
as though dawn had
caught me and held me brief

for reminisce in tell of early cleansing
nature appears so lacy frail yet ever waits her
destined fashion & when time is gone and paper
withers life will loose its grace even spirit faithful
that sweeps the stoop away cannot begin
to alter dawn

Speaking of ghosts, wouldn't you know here comes mine again...
~Rosemary J. Gwaltney~


© Copyright 2005 Dale W. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

1 posted 2005-01-16 07:05 AM


I like it.

Dave

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2005-01-16 10:22 AM


Dawn is always a gift ...

Beautiful in content and form, a perfect clessidra!

Love, Margherita

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2005-01-16 08:15 PM




~Alli~

Happy 2005!

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2005-01-16 08:27 PM


Marvelous! Especially the "lacy frail" line...love that image!

I'm thinking about the luscious "cake" next door. The house looks as if it's frosted smooth and white with wedding cake frosting. The ground is a bed of smooth frosting as well with sugar sprinkles here and there (the blades of grass poking through)---not as divine as your lacy frail, but delicious just the same.

Enjoyed reading this, the title, too!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2005-01-19 11:08 PM


I have missed these swoopy works of art-within-art.....and I'm glad you're around again.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2005-01-20 08:10 AM


morning weeps snow like silence poise


this was my yesterday~~~

very nice
M

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2005-01-20 08:22 AM


for reminisce in tell of early cleansing
nature appears so lacy frail yet ever waits her
destined fashion & when time is gone and paper
withers life will loose its grace even spirit faithful
that sweeps the stoop away cannot begin
to alter dawn


whoa...whata fantastic write

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2005-01-20 09:10 AM


I agree, Lee J...."fantastic write"..
Also the poems form fits perfectly...
The hourglass structure, the feeling of snow falling to the bottom instead of sand...and the relationship with the end lines..
Very nice
__________ice/ford
   ><>

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
9 posted 2005-01-20 01:14 PM


This is an absolutely perfect write.
Enjoyed the read.

JL


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