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Open Poetry #34
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Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

0 posted 2005-01-07 05:15 PM



storm cloud shadows
blacken Saddleback Mountain -
soon...the rain

© Copyright 2005 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2005-01-07 08:50 PM


I am not near any mt. but yes, could always feel the rain coming~~

took me awhile to understand your title

M

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2005-01-07 08:58 PM


Ah, nicely wrought -

steel gray sky high hues
seeping white woven wonder
six point fantasies

same as rain, just on ice

Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . let us choose compassion and love

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
3 posted 2005-01-07 09:17 PM




This is a success,
very good.  Who is your influence?

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
4 posted 2005-01-08 01:47 AM


nakdthoughts - thank you. FYI I never title my haiku/senyru/tanka as it is inappropriate to title them. My "subject" is my own personal method for labeling my poems which I do for identification purposes within my files, I have written a couple thousand at least. I simply use the first letter of each line, I find it more effective than numbering as many haiku poets do.

Susan - I like your offering...very nice. thanks for responding

Huan Yi - Ihave been writing and publishing these oriental forms for many years, so my style is my own now. But early on, and even now sometimes, my influence is mostly Basho, but also Issa and Buson(all the great masters of the form) Thank you for taking an interest and for responding to my poem.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2005-01-08 11:01 AM


I title mine for PIP because the site requires something in that box....and I've found it's an easy way for me to keep track of them....but when I show them the title doesn't come along for the ride.

I hate numbering though -- it seems so crass for a thing as delicate as a haiku, and for me it spoils the mood. I'd rather break the tradition and title mine than break the spell before it's cast.

This one by the way, is excellent....you just got added to my mental list of favorite folks to read!

Have to admit I'm a bit prejudiced though, since I can see Saddleback Mountain from here, and I've watched the rainshadows myself.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2005-01-08 01:37 PM


nicely done
Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
7 posted 2005-01-08 02:53 PM


RAT - YOU CAN? WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED? IN SOCAL RIGHT? I WORK AT THE BASE IN THE RANCHO SANTA MARGARITA LIBRARY.....WASN'T THE SNOW EARLIER IN THE WEEK AMAZING?

GOOGLE ME - YOU WILL FIND LOTS TO READ  

AND THANK YOU FOR READING TOO SHADOWS - MUCH APPRECIATED

[This message has been edited by Beki (01-09-2005 04:28 PM).]

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