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Open Poetry #34
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RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533


0 posted 2005-01-06 01:44 PM



No orchestra attends this Titanic,
the other passengers have all been saved.
Just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

Pedantic dweebs won’t stir in my semantics,
serrated, solemn songs stacked and staved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic

No heroes swallow panic, coward’s antics,
knotless winds leave balmy seas unwaved.
Just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

Those enemies who glean from this I’m frantic,
apologies, for this is what I’ve craved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic

What brought me down was visible, gigantic.
No unseen menace Neptune had enslaved.
Just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

Love lost, o’er time freezes the romantic.
Tis apathy, not death, that can’t be braved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic,
just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

© Copyright 2005 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
1 posted 2005-01-06 01:49 PM


timely extremely right now

and love the drama of it

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2005-01-06 01:52 PM


I was wondering when these pages would be graced by your offerings again.

This is a beautiful Villanelle, and very well written.

So pleased to see you here today,
hope it is warm where you are.

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

3 posted 2005-01-06 01:53 PM


Dear readers, please don't read too much into this. As X.J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia write in "An Introduction To Poetry" (Chapter 14) "Only a naive reader assumes that all poems directly reflect the personal experiences of their authors. That would be like believing a TV sitcom actually describes the real family life of its cast."

While I am indeed a dark moody depressant I have no untoward plans to join my ancestors. I do try and put truth in my posts (as I perceive them) and do draw on experiences (which admittedly are too often morose) but feel a need to soon start writing without a single "I" in my posts. This is not to criticize anyone else's style or even disparage the overwhelming diary-type posts we see here.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2005-01-06 01:55 PM



I wish I had the smallest percentage
of your wonderful talent...
I would be very pleased...

but I don't, so I shall have to rely
on you to post treasures like this,
just to pull out my smile.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2005-01-06 01:57 PM


While I am indeed a dark moody depressant I have no untoward plans to join my ancestors. I do try and

you're a bit cranky aren't you? you're too cute for that and u need someone to relax you a bit
but i applaud your h onesty

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2005-01-06 01:58 PM


"Only a naive reader assumes that all poems directly reflect the personal experiences of their authors."

Exactly Richard, often times we write of subjects and automatically it is an assumption that it is personal. Many times
it is not an observation of our own situations, but of life and human conditions in general.  

As they say though, Assumption is the mother of all screw ups!

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

7 posted 2005-01-06 02:02 PM


Now I'm blushing Michelle. If you knew me better you'd know I was the class clown in high school and that on every salesfloor I ever worked the others would gather in my office in "down time" because I'd keep them rolling on the floor with the shield of my wit and disparagement of management and customers whose rear ends we kissed in order to earn our cynical commissions.

Truth is I could use some serious "loosening up." Been far too long.

Thank you all for such swift and generous attentions.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2005-01-06 02:04 PM


I often write of things that are not about me at all...
it's rather fun to write from anothers perspective.

Well done Sir..and much enjoyed.

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2005-01-06 02:05 PM


Your welcome and feel free to "loosen up"
among us any day! You are not only to cute,
you are extremely talented and fun.
When you need attention, just come look us up!!

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2005-01-07 01:30 PM


Now you know I am chuckling up here right? You are one the funniest people I know.  Great work Richard on this, villanelle are hard to do, especially with some "meat on the bones." Sorry I missed it until today.


Carpe' Diem

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

11 posted 2005-01-07 01:33 PM


Love lost, o’er time freezes the romantic.
Tis apathy, not death, that can’t be braved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic,
just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

oh boy, your telling me...my ship nearly froze, and it's a place I'll never go again

Well done sir, well done

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2005-01-07 01:41 PM


rated, solemn songs stacked and staved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic

No heroes swallow panic, coward’s antics,
knotless winds leave balmy seas unwaved.
Just I, deep and dark, the cold Atlantic

Those enemies who glean from this I’m frantic,
apologies, for this is what I’ve craved.
No orchestra attends this Titanic

===================================

No orchestra may have attended this, but a talented poet sure did. Besides acheiving the form, the phrasing and word play, as well as the internal rhymes and alliterations made this even more impressive...read aloud the assonance was poetic mouth candy...the melancholy edge made it a dramaticly lovely offering.
Excellent composing poet sir.

"this medium is over taken by keyboard prophets who believe their every word profound."

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