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Open Poetry #34
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-12-30 07:52 AM



should I tell you
about the lounge
and the lady last night

and the wine again
that made us friends
for a few hours

til she had to leave
and forgot her ring
on the night stand

and cried then
when she had to knock
and ask for another favor

but smiled again
when I said it was ok
and she could stay

an hour or two
or even more would be ok
and should I tell you

that I thought of you
wondering if it were you
if you would take your ring off

or leave it on
to scratch my skin
with your woman want tattoos

and would you ask for favors
or just make demands
since you had your soul out

laid bare on my chest
and your heaven was in my hands
should I tell you

or just keep it as a dream

_______________
Dark

© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-12-30 07:56 AM


damn.......
yanno, you have such a gift with words
and are most definately a one and only...

and I am SO glad that you are
{all that and more     }

love this D....

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-12-30 08:14 AM



Now this is gloveless...

heather_kitn
Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 61
In The Kokapelli's Song
3 posted 2004-12-30 08:15 AM


This is perfecto in flow, content and heart.  What more could one ask for then a poem that speaks volumes from a flat screen.  Well done!

-heather

I do not seek...I find!
           ~Picasso~

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-12-30 08:30 AM


leaving it on makes her feel naughtier

her climb to heaven's release all the more
desired

don't tell her.....she'll know
after you've left her

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2004-12-30 08:44 AM


wow...
don't tell her...
make her ask

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2004-12-30 10:55 AM


Damn D - this carries such soul and heart - moving -

Hugs - Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . let us choose compassion and love

Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
7 posted 2004-12-30 12:14 PM


i could.... comment on the sensuality, the ache, the very vibrant need that is felt through your words.. but what i really want to comment on is ....


how

s
l
o
w

you make us read it by how it's formatted... and that my friend, is, to me, the key to this piece...

yes, the word choice is good.. but that alone can only do so much.


bravo. this is just perfect, i think.


"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache"
p.neruda

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
8 posted 2004-12-31 05:47 AM


oh tell me tell me tell me pleeeeease......
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-12-31 06:37 AM


some things are better left unsaid
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-01-01 06:14 PM


this was indeed something which only you could know the answer to...

Tremendous your thoughts....your writes are so like the wind, traveling through the mind of our universe....


Indigo
Senior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 602

11 posted 2005-01-02 05:01 PM


merlot stained lips
chilled by ring rock ice
and edged with tattoo want.

a recipe
for restless dreams
laid bare.

You do hang out in the most interesting places, D.

Indi




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