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Open Poetry #34
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-12-28 08:17 AM


the wind some days
wears a bustier
with shoe laces
and double knots

can hear her gasp
when she runs
with her skirt too long
for her legs

on the stairs
called trees there
in hallway valleys
with windows in the sky

at night she moans alone
rubbing her knees
with her cloud lotion
saying she won't run again

tomorrow, but she does


_______________

Dark (scribblenote afterthefact byrequest..this is just the wind doing the park down the street..how it sounds and how it looks..)

[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (12-28-2004 10:29 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-12-28 08:22 AM



Well for some strange reason,
this rings a few tears...

again, thank you.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2004-12-28 08:58 AM


I always double knot.



some days walking just isn't an option..

well done...again.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-12-28 10:03 AM


by the title I thought perhaps I was going to see something a little different than this that would be painful....

but I still feel hurt in this one....

well done D....

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-12-28 04:37 PM


i understand
the wind has rabbit in her and she's just gotta run free

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2004-12-28 09:28 PM


at night she moans alone
rubbing her knees
with her cloud lotion
saying she won't run again

tomorrow, but she does
===============================

what you do with personification makes me smile and admire...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2004-12-28 09:41 PM


DS

The wind can touch you everywhere in just a moment, and then be gone, except for the memory.  

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
7 posted 2004-12-29 03:25 AM


very nice -- the wimd is running headlong as I read this, chasing the rain and casting it about...good read tonight
J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
8 posted 2004-12-29 03:46 AM


poets can do what only poets can do...so you saw the wind today, i guess only poets can see stuff like that...i enjoyed your poem
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
9 posted 2004-12-29 10:48 AM


your words whisper the wind

Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of o

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-12-29 03:17 PM


oh just say my name...*laughing*

this is lovely, and the part about the knees did sound rather familiar...



*chuckle*

(don't know what's wrong with me today, but I'll bet you do)



*ahem*

a lovely write my friend

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
11 posted 2004-12-29 06:45 PM


Very nice . . .

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2004-12-29 06:47 PM


DarkStranger~
Somehow I felt Winnie The Pooh's blustery day in this piece~

"Oh, bother !" (my little Poohism)
I liked it THAT MUCH !

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

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