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Open Poetry #34
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917


0 posted 2004-12-26 05:55 PM


               Cheek by Jowl

You don’t need Cockerels in an early morning
Mother calling Daughter calling Son
Daughter up and working
Son up and bullied to get out to work
Money comes from outside
Don’t Forget it

World knows it’s place
Life knows it’s place
All moves on the vellum
Master Jacobs always said

Move the words with a comma
In the wrong place
And the world moves
To a pen that needs cleaning

© Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

1 posted 2004-12-26 07:27 PM


Awesome write Dave...your mind moves in incredible ways.
And your pen follows.

Eric

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-12-26 09:10 PM


awesome last verse there!
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2004-12-27 12:42 PM


Very well written - I enjoy seeing with a different view this world of ours - I enjoy reading your take on things - your unique eyes

Susan

Catrina
Member
since 2004-11-10
Posts 132

4 posted 2004-12-27 03:22 PM



This, a unique vellum inking...
Excellent, Sir.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
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since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2004-12-27 08:16 PM


Awesome Dave...

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

6 posted 2004-12-27 08:48 PM


  Cheek by Jowl

You don’t need Cockerels in an early morning
Eric

Most of the words I write I like, but people always seem to prefer stuff that is raw.

I write a poem, blend it, spend lives on it, and someone says "they like the first two lines and the last two".

Thanks for your comments, mate.

At some point I will understand what people want.   Until then I will just have to write.

Dave

passing shadows

Think you are being a little too kind here.

Thanks, just the same.

Dave

Susan
    
Thank you

Dave

Catrina

Thank you Catrina.

Dave

Alli

Thanks.

The one great kick for me was I punched in some starting lines of one poem and Google pointed them to my site.

It made 8 hours work, worth it, for the words that are on there.

Dave



Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
7 posted 2005-01-19 09:35 PM


OH AMEN!!!!

I sometimes think I'm the only one....but I'm not!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2005-01-20 11:32 AM


“Money comes from outside
Don’t Forget it”

Yep!  Which reminds me…
I better get to work here!

Good one DavePage

JL


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2005-01-20 11:46 AM


very enjoyable...David, your mind is most definately an asset to the rest of you, and your writings are no exception....don't worry about what anyone wants...just write...who you are and what your thinking and we'll continue to enjoy and thirst for the meanings....

Hugs

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
10 posted 2005-01-20 06:11 PM


And the world moves
To a pen that needs cleaning

Well said.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

11 posted 2005-01-20 06:20 PM


Thanks everyone but I need to take a break.

Writing might seem easy for me, but it isn't.

I have to reach inside and drag out stuff remembering what I've, done, thought and I am not a natural writer.

I was eight and I still couldn't read or write although the mental arithmetic was good.

Even now my handwriting is virtually un-readable but I can at least touch-type.

Thanks once again

Dave

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
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USA
12 posted 2005-01-20 07:45 PM


good write
DavePage
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since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

13 posted 2005-01-20 08:15 PM


Thanks Vandana

Dave

MGROVES
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since 2004-02-01
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california
14 posted 2005-01-21 11:19 PM


yes another good one


DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

15 posted 2005-01-22 03:44 PM


Marsha

Thanks a lot.

Dave

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