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Open Poetry #34
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2004-12-22 11:31 PM


I’ve been waiting for the ease off

of what, you ask

Let me count   no, not the ways
but the days     yes   the days

One is the bite of something growing
not a good bright flower    no
a blight that stings    as if knowing
where the vulnerable place is    a notion
saying
just wait a minute   then take a portion  

Oh, it takes so long to know what
what is the itinerary, the final destination?
we all know what comes after life
but what comes after this day?

This strife of waiting for the better
is dreaming me in bad  and that’s the matter

Tell me how to compensate for  things lost
the color of the way it looked before is gone
and I am heavy breathing and undigested time
even speaking in a loud voice with rhyme

Take me bitter out of the cold of winter chill
and let me feel for sure the morning of next summer
only still   stay quiet in the swing and see
again the quiet bare feet of him and me    

© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana
1 posted 2004-12-22 11:47 PM


we all know what comes after life
but what comes after this day?

How poignant this is! We know we have to take it one day at a time... but what's to get us through that day... biting off tiny pieces doesn't lessen the mammoth proportions of the whole.

Excellent write! I hope you find respite... in a way that leaves a warmth no cold wind can diminish.

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-12-22 11:51 PM


standing in line to hug you, behind our friend Ruth...

damn I wish we lived closer.


TexUS
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since 2003-03-20
Posts 228

3 posted 2004-12-23 01:13 AM


Wow, this is very powerful...and touches so deeply.


Amazing write.  


Best wishes to you

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2004-12-23 01:17 AM


Standing in the "hug line" Martie, with open arms.
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-12-23 01:20 AM


Martie, I was deeply touched by your writing.  The last two stanza's were particularly meaningful to me.  My heart can feel your ache.  
I hope your holiday brightens........jo

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
6 posted 2004-12-23 10:10 AM


"Take me bitter out of the cold of winter chill
and let me feel for sure the morning of next summer"

listen for my brother the Crow
he may turn your thoughts toward sunshine
and help you dream again.

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
7 posted 2004-12-23 10:12 AM


Tell me how to compensate for  things lost...

~*~

I can tell you what is lost to me right now...
warmth.  It's 8 degrees today...

so in many ways...
I feel several degrees of cold...


Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2004-12-23 10:26 AM


Tell me how to compensate for  things lost
the color of the way it looked before is gone

....the tears in this....I feel for you, Martie. I know the truth of these lines, and all the rest of this beautiful exercise in sadness. Sometimes there is no compensation, we just go on without that which isn't ours anymore, and learn to make our world out of what is left to us. I know this well.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Nightshade
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just out of reach
9 posted 2004-12-23 10:30 AM


Martie ....
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2004-12-23 11:07 AM


Tell me how to compensate for  things lost
the color of the way it looked before is gone
and I am heavy breathing and undigested time
even speaking in a loud voice with rhyme

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


...

...


kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
11 posted 2004-12-23 11:12 AM


Such elegant phrasing you've chosen, Martie.  I greatly enjoyed this. Hugs Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2004-12-23 11:31 AM


sometimes even though we see the bite coming it still surprises us..and hurts.

  I have no answers.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

*Alli4000*
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The World of Poetry
13 posted 2004-12-23 11:42 AM


Wow.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
14 posted 2004-12-26 11:49 AM


your yearning states so well what often we all hold - you write it so well - wishing we knew - Paul
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