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Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2004-12-21 11:46 PM

hanging as usual
from an overflowing eavestroph
sparing myself
the shame of facing life
my fingers are giving way
but falling is everything
that i'm used to.
The mirror puddle,
my glossy twin
points and laughs
(that snake)
as homeliness expels
from within my blood.
the cement erodes
within an explosion
of rain
flawlessly falling am i
(I've been here before)
flung into all the superficiality
and materialistic love of the
women within the world.
nothing but poison
intoxicating, taking all breath
from this toad
in a pond of swans
(how can i face them here?)
punished for being real
and stubbornly unchaning
to attract
i am sentenced
to a life of lonleliness
a window gazing odyssey
and a tongue of bitterness
left by an unflattering
opposite sex.

(This was a pretty quick write.... and now that i read it, it sounds more like a rant. Well i hope you enjoy anyway.)

nice use of muffin

aim= FlyingScrew. message me if you feel.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2004-12-22 12:16 PM

I like it, and don't consider it rant. It's a nicely flowing moment of painful emotional truth.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-12-22 10:19 AM

"The mirror puddle,
my glossy twin
points and laughs
(that snake)"

I personally think your writings deserve more attention than they get...

I am loving your offerings and rest assured you have a big fan here...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

3 posted 2004-12-22 10:30 AM

Poetry to me is about creating that allows others to feel your emotion or perspective concerning life---with these words you did just that! Write on brother, write on! *grin*

~Atov

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-12-22 07:39 PM

Another great write by you! I don't consider it a rant either, and agree with Susan - your poems really do deserve more replys than they get.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

5 posted 2004-12-23 01:08 AM

Midnite- Thank you for the comment, I'm so glad that you liked it.

Susan- You make me blush Madame.

Thanks for stopping in and taking a read.

Atov- The writing will keep flowing. Thanks for the encouragement.

Alli- You also make me blush

Thanks you so much for stopping by.

I really appreciate all the comments.
-John

nice use of muffin

aim= FlyingScrew. message me if you feel.

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