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Open Poetry #34
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-12-16 07:41 AM



there is wind today
the kind that would move you
when you stood next to me
and held your hair
with your married hand

perhaps you would pretend
it was stronger
to see if I would be there
to pretend you were falling
just long enough


to know your fit to me
and perhaps you would smile
and say excuse me
and just linger a while
waiting for me to say

it was my pleasure
as we both looked at windows
and the dancers there
looking for the right music
to put us on the other side

where the wind was our breathing


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Dark

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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-12-16 07:45 AM


sigh...
when you write like this...

all I can do is sigh...

Good morning D.  

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-12-16 07:50 AM


perhaps you would pretend
it was stronger
to see if I would be there
to pretend you were falling
just long enough

sometimes people do this without realizing
what they are doing....

but in the end, my dear friend, all will indeed work out...

I've learned through you, a lot...thank you
Who Ever you are, DS...big smiles...and hugs
you've taught me much....thank you



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-12-16 08:15 AM



Now this is the soft side of dark...
with dawn peeking in...


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-12-16 08:32 AM


nice and dreamy
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-12-16 10:53 AM


Mmmmm - nice breeeze brushing 'cross the skin this morning D - lovely indeed -

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2004-12-16 11:12 AM


"it was my pleasure
as we both looked at windows
and the dancers there
looking for the right music
to put us on the other side"

Now that was moving to the point of a couple of reads, loved this one - loved it!  It made me take a finger and draw on the misted window beside me, honest!

Indigo
Senior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 602

7 posted 2004-12-16 04:31 PM


He knew how futile it was
to hold back
hair styled by Santa Ana hands,
his bandana, a testament to that.

But his ocean eyes
watched anyway
as tangled strands
lashed her face in a way

that silently pleased him.


Felt that wind, DS.  Lovely to read you.

Indigo



Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2004-12-16 05:55 PM


to each of you
you bless me with your smiles
I thank for your days and eyes
ms indy
a stranger returns
from rincon
I know her eyes
at the windows
they are the storms
that make palms taller

nice treat to see you....happy holidays

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2004-12-16 05:57 PM


DS

I love the Santa Ana Winds...you write them with personal best.  

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
10 posted 2004-12-16 08:17 PM


awesome stuff!!! i loved it!

Merry Christmas!

LOR

you're the only one keeping me alive

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2004-12-16 11:42 PM


Clean and clear as the Santa Ana wind....you bring things into such sharp focus, with so few words. Reading this, I could see every detail, even some that aren't there, but might have been.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-12-17 09:40 AM


*floating*

yes...sigh

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2004-12-17 04:04 PM


when you stood next to me
and held your hair
with your married hand

perhaps you would pretend
it was stronger
to see if I would be there

What a powerful suggestion you've written... excellent work!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2004-12-17 07:00 PM


good read
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