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Open Poetry #34
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-12-15 06:53 PM


She looked at me with blue gray eyes
somber
I was much afraid
I'd given her the all of me
so I feared what she might say.

"Hemingway!"
she did proclaim
and still I was confused--
"What? Too many adjectives?"
She laughed at me and said:

"I have perfect taste,"
she sniffed,
mocking her pretentiousness
buffing nails of glossiness
as if to demonstrate.

"This" she said, "is poetry."
(I thought I'd written prose.)
And Hemingway was not my choice
of author influencing voice.
Not that I had disrespect
I'd just felt more heaviness
from him as I'd read his word--
and thus, it wasn't praise I'd heard

when she'd called me by his name.

I took my notebook back from her--
the secret one which held the key
of my scribbles endlessness
containing all the "all" of me
blushing as I clutched the rag
of all the tears and fears I'd had
I looked to the ground and asked,
"which one?" and then she laughed that laugh,

chiming bells to make me smile

"All of them." She kissed my cheek.
"No bulls will die today," I said.
She looked at me confused. I sighed,
and I knew she hadn't read
the author questioned of critique.

I'd given her the all of me.

She called me someone else.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (12-16-2004 01:51 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-12-15 07:08 PM



Sigh.  It's time, dear...it's time.

"What," you say.

But you already know my mind.

Just as you know P.S.

I like this...you bring tomorrow into today
and in some ways?  It's ok, very ok, to be
"like" another...in some ways...

at least you're like someone famous...

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-12-15 07:34 PM


::simply smiles::

   owe you one now....

so you will get it soon...

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2004-12-15 07:56 PM


....and then? ...and then?
hugs, Chrislane (you know I am lovin' this series)  

Don't forget my presents!!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2004-12-15 08:49 PM


oh, but this is a treasure to read

*sigh*
no bull

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-12-15 10:34 PM


"All of them." She kissed my cheek.
"No bulls will die today," I said.
She looked at me confused. I sighed,
and I knew she hadn't read
the author questioned of critique.

I'd given her the all of me.

She called me someone else."

Oh God..*sigh*
Publish Ser..publish.
Love ya lady~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-12-15 10:58 PM


damn..

so hard when we put them up on that pedestal and they don't live up to it...

but then we were the ones that put them there in the first place..

*sigh*

I wish I could hug the you of then.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-12-16 04:06 AM


the all of you

wow...lucky her

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
8 posted 2004-12-16 09:43 AM


And it gets even better, only you...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-12-16 03:21 PM


yup, I echo Passing Shadows...lucky her!

there's no doubt about you gorgeous, I'm sure you know what I'm going to say, but you probably won't know how to respond to something like that *smile*...so I won't say.

I'll just give ya a and a

love ya

Mxx

p.s into my libraria you go.

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

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