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Open Poetry #34
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mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

0 posted 2004-12-14 03:53 PM


last winter the sky fell
and you were sitting in the snow
making angels and forgetting
[like you always do]
that i loved you more than i should
for your seldom polite vocabulary
and the purple secrets in your vacant eyes
for the weight of your slaughtered sense of wonder
on all of us.
you were debating whether or not to leave
i was lost and abandoned, somnolent but sad
demanding songs from raspy florescent lighting
and babbling some broken gospel
that only midnight understands.
that was the last time i cried for you
and my very veins ached for you
because tears can be thicker than blood.
i told you this went deeper
than rusty impulses and crooked religion
as you turned to walk away from
what winter has done to me.
[i always loved winter]
now your nightmares worsen
with the melting of glaciers
i know we will meet again
at the airport or in purgatory
the clock throbs for all our wasted hours
the percussion of souls crashed and separated
you taught me with your leaving to say
go if you must, save yourself from the chill
that battered hearts know so well
god only knows
it was the winter in you that killed me.

in the end it's not just you with your memories and your scars, fall on me if you ever forget how beautiful you are.

© Copyright 2004 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-12-14 05:37 PM


that i loved you more than i should
for your seldom polite vocabulary
and the purple secrets in your vacant eyes
for the weight of your slaughtered sense of wonder
on all of us.
you were debating whether or not to leave
i was lost and abandoned, somnolent but sad
demanding songs from raspy florescent lighting
and babbling some broken gospel
that only midnight understands.
that was the last time i cried for you
and my very veins ached for you
because tears can be thicker than blood.
i told you this went deeper
than rusty impulses and crooked religion
as you turned to walk away from
what winter has done to me.
[i always loved winter]
now your nightmares worsen
with the melting of glaciers

================================

there are so many impressive images and personifis in this...
you write from places deeper than most muses allow...your pen bleeds the words into the threads of the paper...

and babbling some broken gospel
that only midnight understands.
that was the last time i cried for you
and my very veins ached for you
because tears can be thicker than blood.
i told you this went deeper
than rusty impulses and crooked religion


very impressive expression here..
always something to learn from reading you.


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-12-14 07:23 PM


"wow"

superb writing

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2004-12-14 07:42 PM


This is very beautiful writing. It makes the
reader feel what you are writing. Thanks
for sharing this with us.
Hugs,
Ethel

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-12-14 08:02 PM


Powerful and emotionally expressive...very well done!!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2004-12-14 08:24 PM


Oh my....I echo all of the above.

it's a

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-12-14 09:20 PM


Fantastic write!!!
Slipping this keeper into my library.
Hugs~Nancy

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