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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2004-12-13 09:16 PM

There's an anxiousness
about the way you dress.
I think at one time you may have been
unattractive.

Somewhat at a loss,
you dance and talk,
and no one listens.
The face a faith no one believes in.
A body you worked for
the great white whale
that some assail
hoping after together to tell their tales,
harpooning
an emptiness.

And yet perhaps
through all of this
nonsense not knowing words,
in an ever smaller corner,
in the back of eyes that show no light,
a young girl
wearing glasses
watches the men,
one of whom
might be her dream,

passing by
not seeing her,

unaware
that you are there

still waiting.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2004-12-13 10:10 PM

ouch
and yet, perhaps
tomorrow

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2004-12-13 11:16 PM

Enjoyed...James

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

3 posted 2004-12-14 11:45 AM

To me poetry is conveying the thoughts of one to the other, connecting dots if you will, you did this.....I like it!

~Atov

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2004-12-14 11:47 AM

I like the way this tells a story.
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Ethel

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

5 posted 2004-12-14 11:49 AM

This is very original,
which, as you well know,
is hard to do.
You've got an interesting way of speaking
and I like it.
Very cool.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

6 posted 2004-12-14 02:05 PM

You do have a creative way with words. Enjoyed.

believe in what your heart feels...

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

7 posted 2004-12-14 07:33 PM

Thanks everyone.

The title is, oddly, a Japanese euphemism
for a woman considered past her marriageable prime,
( referring to bake goods cheaply on sale after
the holidays), similar to the Canadian “autumn leaves”,
as well as alluding to the event, a company Christmas party,
that was the basis.

John

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2004-12-15 02:50 PM

I can't believe I almost missed this one... it would definitely have been my loss... it's fantastic!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

9 posted 2004-12-15 02:53 PM

Well done...very much enjoyed the read!

Season's Greetings!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

10 posted 2004-12-15 02:57 PM

I guess they spell wallflower all kinds of ways, and I know that each hurts more than the last. I liked this a lot.

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

11 posted 2004-12-15 04:34 PM

Me, too! I, especially, like the title you chose.
miscellanea

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

12 posted 2004-12-15 05:50 PM

for a woman considered past her marriageable prime,

hmmmm....and just when is that?

M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2004-12-16 04:35 AM

very touching piece

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

14 posted 2007-04-28 08:32 PM

unfinished life. every where.why points to women the greatest group?????

Christmas cake is a kind of cake made with Brandy then covered with thick icing. the longer, the better. do not joke at it. it is not a cheap one. it is a goooooooood and any body sees it, want a piece.

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