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Open Poetry #34

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I, The Wall

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kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

0 posted 2004-12-09 09:59 AM

I, the wall.

Ouch, I say, feeling the crush
of bone which is not mine.
Ahh, I say, laying a bandage
upon a weeping crack.

I look upon my painted coat,
Seeing cracks that widen
spreading wide, exposing
structural beams of steel.

I look upon my bricks and mortar,
seeing flesh scraps curling in age.
My joints stand strong against
the onslaught of daily conflict.

I "whoosh" as another head
bangs fruitlessly against me.
I do not fall, stop punishing me.
It is not my fault!

© Copyright 2004 Ken Julkowski - All Rights Reserved

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-12-09 10:12 AM

Wow...

This is both excellent imagery
and some wonderful insight...

I know several people who keep
banging their heads against brick walls...

and it is, as you say, most certainly
NOT the wall's fault...

Very, very good, Sir!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-12-09 10:16 AM

yes...excelllent....oh yes, have felt the banging of head on wall many times..
and of course, its not the walls fault....

Nightshade

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours

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Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2004-12-09 10:28 AM

Well done Ken. Enjoyed. Chris

Don't forget my presents!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2004-12-09 12:00 PM

Excellent write Ken..and in free verse as well.

I know how this feels..

Love ya m'friend.

~ Let peace begin with me... ~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2004-12-09 12:19 PM

Ken...great personification....loved the way you did this! Don't ever tell me again that all you can do is rhyme!

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

6 posted 2004-12-09 12:23 PM

hahaha!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2004-12-09 06:43 PM

Very nice performance!

Love, Margherita

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2004-12-09 09:15 PM

well done!

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

9 posted 2004-12-09 09:20 PM

Excellent stuff, my friend ~~ you hit this one out of the park!

~~J

Dautz Write
Member

since 2004-11-16

Posts 96

10 posted 2004-12-09 09:41 PM

I agree. Excellent imagery and analogy. Nice flow. Much enjoyed!

dautz...

Midnitesun

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

11 posted 2004-12-09 11:43 PM

Dang! very nicely done, Ken, BRAVO!
"This old house" is still plenty strong.
Nice metaphor, and nice literal imagery too.
'steel beams'
yep

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