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Open Poetry #34
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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2004-12-08 11:52 PM



Fish in a glass
through a window asks
what a strange inviting world
the watery one is just too comfortable

So the fish grew external gills
to live ashore, a contest of wills
meant a break from past tradition
to breath air now meant contradiction

So some fish stayed, kept gills intact
other sprang limbs from a body tract
remained in water part of the day
climbed marsh leaves the rest of their stay

Creatures modified form and structure
from a past cast, began a rupture
the fish in the glass adopted gills
with added limbs learned land skills

So here we are free of the glass
with acquired names, time does pass
visitors from Mars notice no gills
creatures on land in a contest of wills...





[This message has been edited by ecrivan (12-09-2004 09:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-12-09 12:21 PM


and here we are now

fish,
out of water

interesting (r)evolutionary thoughts flowing


froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
2 posted 2004-12-09 02:29 AM


I must agree with Midnightsun
on this one.

Nice read Martin.

:-)

Within this heart you'll find love

Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion
3 posted 2004-12-09 02:42 AM


yes here we are, nice read

does your fire burn? can you hear me? ILL JUST KNOCK THIS WALL RIGHT DOWN

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2004-12-09 06:00 PM


Very good write!

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
5 posted 2004-12-09 09:58 PM


Thanks Midnite for an idea to add a final stanza...with a little evolutionary twist


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