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Open Poetry #34
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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2004-12-07 07:50 AM


Driving in my straight shift truck
With a beer and my cell phone
Headin' down I-65
The truck is on it's own.

Well there's old Miss Livingston,
"Thump-whoops-what a shame,
Anyone that close to traffic,
Should know that they're fair game.

There's my buddy Balladeer,
Looks like he's had a flat,
"THUMP-WHOOPS-so sorry 'Deer'
Must be a Walmart Jack.

This line they've painted on the road,
Is as crooked as can be,
Wonder what nut painted that?
You'd think they cannot see!

I guess I should pull over,
I might spill my beer,
Or get it in my cell phone,
And inebriate my ear.

The police might pull me over
And ask me to walk this line,
I'd tell him I can't walk it but
Could snort it up just fine.


© Copyright 2004 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2004-12-07 07:58 AM


Is that why you drive so fast??? LOL Because the wiggles in those lines seem to straighten out a bit if they just go by in a blur??? LOL

And... *hands on hips and glaring fiercely*

If you're out and about so much, Houston's THIS-away!!!! LOL

I enjoyed this, sweets... it's SO good to see you posting!!!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-12-07 08:05 AM


why you little buckerooo, so good to see you in there...do you know I was just thinking of you and wanted to remember to email you....oh, Toe...what a read, missed your warming sense of humor...

Happy Days!!!!!

Hugs and thank you for writing and sharing

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2004-12-07 08:18 AM


Toerag
Glad to see your still beering and steering.
Have a good one.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2004-12-07 08:19 AM


Well, Toerag DID get stopped, my friends,
By patrolman Lucy Brown...
Spread-eagled him against the car
So she could pat him down.

Since it had been ten years or so
He'd felt a female touch
He tried hard to control himself
But it was just too much!!

In his enebriated state
He forgot she was the law
And pulled the trooper to the ground
While screaming out, "YEEHAW!!!!"

His drool was dripping down her neck
As Toe's hands roamed about.
She smacked him with her billy club
And knocked the poor boy out!

Toerag's roaming days are done.
There'll be no more high-steppin'.
Our boy is serving twenty years
For assault with a dead weapon!!!

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
5 posted 2004-12-07 08:24 AM


Hah......Great!!! Laughing here in the NYC rain....~P
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-12-07 09:20 AM


LOL...at the two of you!!
'Deer sure comes back with the quick answers..
and Toe..I know that you know you never drink and drive..
for heaven's sake...pull over!!
It's SO good to read you here!!!!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2004-12-07 09:29 AM


Toe,
Well judge Balladeer just gave you 20 years.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2004-12-07 09:31 AM


Howdy, Toe! I see you are back to entertaining the troops! ~ and you've done a darn fine job of it with this piece of pop poetry! It was not only hysterically funny ~ it was cleverly creative! ~ Or were you just "Statin' the facts, folks!"?!?!? lol

Love 'n smiles,
Linda

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2004-12-07 09:42 AM


Good grief Toe !! Change seats with me and I'll drive !! Your still soooo bad .... yet sooo good.   hugs, Chris
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2004-12-07 02:39 PM


C'mere and give this old lady a big hug will ya?  That was so "you" and it's great to see you posting m'friend.  I will be looking at road lines today out there, and thinking and laughing about this I am sure!

                        
Let there be peace on earth ~ and let it begin with me

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2004-12-07 04:33 PM


laughing and loving  the Deer's response...

M

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2004-12-07 05:27 PM


I just popped in to read all of the responses you received! Your poems get some of the funniest ones. Take the poetic response by Balls of Deer!!! HeeeHaw!

You two are certifiable! ~ That's why I love you both so much! ~ It takes one to know one! Like attracts like! You garbanzos are like two nuts in a shell ~ or is that "Two peas in a pod?"  yuk yuk

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2004-12-07 08:39 PM


Yeah, I'd be lost without the old lug....but don't tell him!!!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2004-12-07 09:24 PM


LOL

oh Toe...glad to see you are back at it..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-12-07 10:12 PM


you are incredible
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
16 posted 2004-12-07 11:26 PM


I drive oblivious a lot of the time...does that count?

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
17 posted 2004-12-08 01:08 AM


Don't send this one to MADD.

great rhythm and rhyme, even if you shouldn't do the crime...pay the fine–Guess we'd better call a "Toe"–truck and gitcha off th'road

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

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