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Open Poetry #34
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They Touched
| Open Poetry #34 |
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They Touched |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
They touched in the center From octaves far away, A double flat made natural To end romantic day. Cuddled within the Treble Clef Their borrowed times complete; No more could he meter Or feel the linger of her beat. Electric charcoal she held in mind While his eyes, she tried to visualize; Upon manilla paper sketched Imperfection in her tries. The phrases of their memories were hidden in two half rests, Combined to make a whole In the silence of their breaths. [This message has been edited by Dautz Write (12-07-2004 10:22 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dautz Write - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The sounds of a creshendo made perfect. Happy to read you again. TD |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dautz Write This sounds like beautiful music to me. Very cleverly done...and enjoyed! |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
TD Thanks for the welcome back. Things have been busy and I don't get around as much as I'd like. I appreciate your comment and hope to scroll around in the next few days. Looking forward to reading you on the blue. Dautz |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Martie, Glad this struck a chord with you. Thank you for you kindness. Dautz |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dautz...this struck a chord, beautifully.... thank you so much for this gift. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Sunshine, You're quite welcome. Glad you could relate. Thank you, kind Lady. Dautz |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
enjoying the musical metaphors. thank you for the beautiful write nice use of muffin |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Don Juan, Glad you enjoyed the metaphors! Thanks for your kind response. dautz |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"His eyes, she tried to visualize, Upon manilla paper sketched, Imperfection in her tries." Oh, you have no idea how that hit me. So many times I have done this, sketched eyes, imagining what some might look like! It's as if you saw me, pen in hand. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
beautifully orchestrated DW. Well done. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I really liked this..very descriptive..Well done. "Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"The phrases of their memories Were hidden in two half rests, Combined to make a whole In the silence of their breaths." Oh yes..this is a very beautiful piece! I so much enjoy your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Let peace begin with me... ~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The melody of love is a beautiful one that lingers on the mind... even when the song itself is all too brief. *S* This is lovely... excellent work! *S* |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Midnitesun, You flatter me. I would imagine you to be quite the artist by how perceive things and write about them. dautz... Gentle Spirit, How very kind of you to say. Thank you. dautz... Spine Grinder, Glad you enjoyed the description. I thought it might be too much or too little. (I wasn't sure if the metaphors would detract-glad to hear your POV) Thanks. dautz... Enchantress, And I enjoy yours, as well. Thank you for your kindness. dautz ... suthern, Exactly. Yes, the melody lingers, even when the song brief... You are definitely in tune. Thanks for your thoughtful response. dautz... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
being a piano lover, I really love this write |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dautz, Enjoyed the read, thank you. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
James, Dixie, Seymour, Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed. Have a good weekend. dautz... |
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