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Open Poetry #34
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brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2004-12-05 01:43 AM



I know
    I have been relatively
unvisited by Death-

       -has only blackened and curled
the edges of my pages

     -has never bored through
my middle with an all-cleansing flame

but I think about
             that

how I would react
      to such loss

  
           becoming comatose and
        gone
or
        grieving and then
            finding strength
or
           being
      stoic
and blazing a lie
           between the
             clenched teeth
                      of my eyes

I know Death is there
  
          it just hasn't
             draped itself on me
         clinging

and I fear
            it's effects
         on the still-living

which is
       the only bad thing
            about Death

Living

© Copyright 2004 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion
1 posted 2004-12-05 02:08 AM


how true

can you fly like a penguin

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2004-12-05 03:28 AM


Death must be happy in the absence of life.
How we have been so self-centered as to think only in terms of the contrary.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-12-05 05:23 AM


dang

awesome write, as usual

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-12-05 06:37 AM


but I think about
             that

how I would react
      to such loss

  
           becoming comatose and
        gone
or
        grieving and then
            finding strength
or
           being
      stoic
and blazing a lie
           between the
             clenched teeth
                      of my eyes

I know Death is there
  
          it just hasn't
             draped itself on me
         clinging

and I fear
            it's effects
         on the still-living


An awesome write Brian

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2004-12-05 09:12 AM



Ah Brian...for one who has not hidden behind the draperies, you captured the various nuances of human emotion to the occurrence very well...

very well...for it is all of that...and sometimes more, or less, depending on any given situation.

Your powers of observation are ever clear...

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-12-05 10:49 AM


Wow!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-12-05 01:29 PM


"how I would react
      to such loss

  
           becoming comatose and
        gone
or
        grieving and then
            finding strength
or
           being
      stoic
and blazing a lie
           between the
             clenched teeth
                      of my eyes"

nodding

all of that, and then some, love

sigh



MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
8 posted 2004-12-05 05:53 PM


wow
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-12-05 06:40 PM


I found this so haunting Bri.

Even now, you manage to make word dance.

(See how he sculpts it, people?) I swear your poetry is like a mobile, the way you construct it, and your instincts are always exacting.

This one haunted me, because it wasn't too long ago that I could say the same, and I remember thinking these same thoughts. And when it finally did happen to me, (as sadly it does to us all) there was a very surreal moment when I thought "so this is how it feels".

My, my, my m'bri...

you are without a doubt, one of the most intriguing writers on these pages. You manage to examine without an emotional disconnect. *shaking my head*

And I have studied you intimately, and you still amaze me.




Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2004-12-05 07:32 PM


Brian, this drapes the mind and heart so completely. *sighing*  I can't begin to pick out any single line, the whole thing touches deeply.
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
11 posted 2004-12-05 08:21 PM


gripping spill of words...couldn't take my eyes off the page for fear I would have to breathe...

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2004-12-05 09:04 PM


Wow. Yes. That is the bad part. ...The painful, aching, devistating part. But you captured it's dimensions well. This goes in my library...
Amazing...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2004-12-05 09:18 PM


Brian

I've tried to think of a reply to this, but it brought about so many emotions in me, that I couldn't find the right words.  When death touches you, I hope it is kind and a teacher.  

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2004-12-05 10:48 PM


You know ... you can reherse that moment over and over but when it does comes, "death" sets its own stage, and the play becomes totally different.  It is good to reherse, and you did it so well.  
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2004-12-05 11:17 PM


I've already told ya. But thought I say it again.

(Well, it's better than that)


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