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Open Poetry #34
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Krawdad
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since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597


0 posted 2004-12-04 12:30 PM



                     thin ice


                     the season
                     ~December~
                     the end in sight
                          edged in white

                     this warm body
                     responds little to the winds of late
                     less likely to be stirred
                     and not expected to carry
                          much on its back

                     storms have raged here
                     between placid reflections
                     and sparkling sunsets
                     though few have been paused
                          to notice

                     assuredly
                     the spring paradox
                     will return for another
                     and will flow in its own new way
                          refreshed    

                     but now
                     the ice has begun to form
                          as a wrinkled skim




© Copyright 2004 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
MGROVES
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california
1 posted 2004-12-04 04:30 AM


interesting


Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-12-04 08:28 AM


assuredly
                     the spring paradox
                     will return for another
                     and will flow in its own new way
                          refreshed    

                     but now
                     the ice has begun to form
                          as a wrinkled skim

~*~

It's the "quiet time" Kraw...
thank you for the reflection...

icebox
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
3 posted 2004-12-04 09:02 AM


                "but now
                 the ice has begun to form
                      as a wrinkled skim"

I like this poem, and those last lines made me laugh with the clarity of their insight.
Brilliant!

Midnitesun
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Gaia
4 posted 2004-12-04 09:13 AM


E, this is totally in tune with the tangible touchable world. Enjoyed the ending stanza especially.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-12-04 09:18 AM


" but now
                     the ice has begun to form
                          as a wrinkled skim"


How much it does look like
wrinkled skim!
Much enjoyed the view Kraw.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Let peace begin with me... ~

vandana
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USA
6 posted 2004-12-04 09:27 AM


enjoyed
MGROVES
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california
7 posted 2004-12-04 07:00 PM


interesting, enjoyed


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2004-12-04 07:42 PM


How come your ice forms like that? My ice forms like sheets of glass that spread out from the centre and turns snow to slush. It's a unique term that wrinkled skim but I like it a lot.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2004-12-04 10:01 PM


Excellent verse Kraw daddy...
But I like winter, it gives me time to rest and go fishing on that "wrinkled skin" I hope the skin is thick enough soon to hold my weight..

____________ice
    ><>

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

MGROVES
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california
10 posted 2004-12-04 11:52 PM


nice


passing shadows
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displaced
11 posted 2004-12-05 05:32 AM


lovely reading
garysgirl
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12 posted 2004-12-05 07:00 AM


It's been cold here too. I loved
your poem about winter.
Hugs,
Ethel

*Alli4000*
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The World of Poetry
13 posted 2004-12-05 10:43 AM


Nicely written! Love this.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2004-12-05 06:25 PM


Like icebox, those last lines had a tremendous visual impact on me.

Excellent describe, and the between the line thoughts also made me smile at your clever acuity.


Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

15 posted 2004-12-05 10:02 PM


Thank you all kindly for looking in.
While I like December and winter well enough, I intended a metaphor on another kind of December.  I think I massaged the shorter version a little too long and buried it in the added detail.
And maybe that last line . . .
Dang.
Even when the muse is reluctant, one needs to know when to quit.

K, you saw a little something between the lines?  

e

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