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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-12-03 06:59 PM


These dark stones broken
Are shattered shards of night
Older still than the hand that placed them here
In circle drawn rough on earth

I would howl their grief
Amber eyed

But he who looked inside me
Saw too I knew
  And needed not to hear my cry
To come and stand in shadows
As I laid fire to the center
  Watching flames reflect no light
Off surfaces roughly polished

Or warmth come from embers
That glowed grey against my heart


Re-arranged
    To hide the stains left before
They lie still sharp to silence

Innocence
         Scratched deep in veins
Is written of old blood
And skins worn against the flames
As sweat poured from both of us

And I found the fire cooler
Than the lust you brought
   To flesh rubbed with wild grass

While he who looked into me
   Raised his head to call
Some brethren faded far into time
  Ending his trailed notes
  In short whimpered whine

That made my own tears know
  They too fell fey
Among the bright stones of sky


© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2004-12-03 07:36 PM


Ron

I like the feel of this....lots!     

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
2 posted 2004-12-03 07:58 PM


From the primeval to the present, the howl remains the same.  A comfort to the pack. A chill to those outside of it.  Well done!!!

believe in what your heart feels...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2004-12-03 10:26 PM


These dark stones broken
Are shattered shards of night
Older still than the hand that placed them here
In circle drawn rough on earth

I would howl their grief
Amber eyed

But he who looked inside me
Saw too I knew
  And needed not to hear my cry
To come and stand in shadows

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Re-arranged
    To hide the stains left before
They lie still sharp to silence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While he who looked into me
   Raised his head to call
Some brethren faded far into time
  Ending his trailed notes
  In short whimpered whine

That made my own tears know
  They too fell fey
Among the bright stones of sky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


OH MAN..............

oh my..........

(ya know that question I asked ya?)
me thinks you just answered it..........

damn.........


Innocence
         Scratched deep in veins
Is written of old blood
And skins worn against the flames


double damn........



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-12-03 10:31 PM


I would howl their grief
Amber eyed

But he who looked inside me
Saw too I knew
  And needed not to hear my cry

~*~

Three of my favorite poets
echoed thoughts I had yet to make...

until just now...

Thank you for this, today.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2004-12-03 11:18 PM


WIHWT?

Well, it's not like I haven't tried once or twice.
I just happen to like the way yours lights up the cave.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
6 posted 2004-12-03 11:35 PM


this quickens the blood, chief...

felt this in the pores...

**babyblu**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-12-04 12:17 PM


pssssssssssst

"you write the mysteries"

*smile*

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2004-12-04 12:31 PM


Well, let's see....I'm due for a lesson in poetry, and overdue for a dose of humility....yep, time for one by the Captain....

Yep number two: Yep, I'm writing this BEFORE I read the poem. May as well, I know without looking that it's going to be masterful!

Now I go enjoy, then relate, then absorb as much quality as I can hold.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-12-04 12:34 PM


Ratleader said it right.. Masterful!

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
10 posted 2004-12-04 12:39 PM


And I found what I expected....brilliance, as beautifully formed and balanced as a Fabrege' egg....of course.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2004-12-04 02:14 AM


Like Ratleader said, I knew before I read your poem that it would be excellent. I wasn't wrong. And, as others said...I really FELT this one Capt. Ron. Thank you.
Hugs,

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2004-12-04 03:22 AM


"These dark stones broken
Are shattered shards of night"

... and I knew I'd love it after reading this.
And I do!
No surprise, though.


Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
13 posted 2004-12-04 04:18 AM


glad i came back. missed all these great writings. thanks for sharing


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-12-04 05:44 AM


I read...I absorb
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2004-12-04 09:33 AM


nice read
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
16 posted 2004-12-04 02:19 PM


Amazing write.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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