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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-11-23 08:37 AM


Last night it tried to snow
And when eyes closed
        I dreamed of wild poppies growing on stone
So harsh that shattered petal lay profuse
Under sparse green
  As steel wool clouds scoured
The breast of dawn till milk rose
  To lay on streaked red

While I with spade
           dug heavy wet earth
  One
        turning ten
     Till water bled from her skin
Leaving me
    to wear that which she shed
   In heavy footed hold
       Unable to move

And the sky
                     Tried again



© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-11-23 08:39 AM



Oh save her!
dang it...

this has such appeal...
for anyone who knows the pull of emotion...

Excellent work here, sir,
now excuse me
before I start to blather
just to have you
undermine my
sentiments.


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-11-23 08:47 AM


Cpat,
Beautiful write, enjoyed.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
3 posted 2004-11-23 08:52 AM


powerfully moving piece, Chief

**babyblu**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2004-11-23 09:55 AM


Powerfully moving, to ditto all the above
you have a very colorful brush....

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2004-11-23 11:35 AM


Again your pen has written perfection.  Well done sir.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2004-11-23 11:38 AM


Ron

Yes you can write!!  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-11-23 12:26 PM


Excellent write Ron!
Thank you Sir!

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me ~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-11-23 02:43 PM


Eccelento, I think that's how they say it in italian..Excellent!

Magnifico!  

and Sir?  hush  

Mxx


into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
9 posted 2004-11-23 02:47 PM


I felt the chill...

believe in what your heart feels...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-11-23 07:43 PM


" As steel wool clouds scoured
The breast of dawn till milk rose
  To lay on streaked red"

Such sadness in a script of dawn.

sometimes you worry me.


Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

11 posted 2004-11-24 12:32 PM


  As steel wool clouds scoured
The breast of dawn till milk rose
  To lay on streaked red

And as I read this, I was wishing I could describe this - I've tried - often.

Wow.  Thank you for sharing this.

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

12 posted 2004-11-24 01:03 AM


Ya know, there is an over-the-counter remedy or two for that . . . but only if you really need the sleep, of course.
Colorful, this.
Enjoyed.

e

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2004-11-24 08:29 AM


Last night it tried to snow
And when eyes closed
        I dreamed of wild poppies growing on stone
So harsh that shattered petal lay profuse
Under sparse green
  As steel wool clouds scoured
The breast of dawn till milk rose
  To lay on streaked red


======================================

pure unadulterated poetic gold....

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

14 posted 2004-11-24 02:47 PM


yep, 'poetic gold'....couldn't have described your writing with words a hundred fold......
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2004-11-28 10:22 AM


and the sky tried again.

this is proof of why I get excited when I see your name...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

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