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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2004-11-21 11:33 AM

People speak of broken hearts
not how long they take to part
and restructure into dotted lines
around the perimeter
of blackened emptiness.

Dot, space - dot, space, dot,
through the spaces I am lost
lonely in the company
of white memories of the past
meant to heal not suffer me
an incomplete lifespan.

Breathe!  I cannot breathe
in tunnels of my needs
leading to a shallow mind
unable to accommodate
a disembodied soul
disowned and floating free
like shadows I perceive.

I’m not equipped; how can it be
questions too are free
and float off into deaf ears
of he who feels my needs.

And yet amidst confusion
two as one entwine
snuggled up together
in auras of the mind
drawing up and giving out
each one to the other
unreserved pure pleasure
only bodies can provide.

Not enough and I decide
rather let me die
for deaf is heart’s desire
to the word, “goodbye”.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-11-21 11:43 AM

strongly written... emotive, and constructed around good imagery....

very nicely done ma'am... very nice

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2004-11-21 11:46 AM

Helen

There is so much wonder in life, my friend...to prefer death makes me feel very sad for you. I wish you peace.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

3 posted 2004-11-21 11:51 AM

Thanks Capt Hair for the read and for your response. Much appreciated.

Martie - sometimes I just don't know so many things but somehow it seems important to record events. The feeling has passed for now. Thanks for the read. Look after yourself.

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

4 posted 2004-11-21 01:00 PM

I rather liked this.

"Not enough and I decide
rather let me die
for deaf is heart’s desire
to the word, “goodbye”."

Good job of describing two magnets, their attraction and, at times aversion.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-11-22 04:39 AM

I understand this well

what a write! always enjoy you!

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