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Open Poetry #34
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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2004-11-18 01:30 PM


You tossed your cloak
tinted in betrayal
there by the doorway
and stepped into
the suite of
domestic stability,
all the while wearing
that sly fox grin.

You wore your cunning well
     for awhile
until it wore thin
and the fabric of you
        showed through
leaving nothing more
than frayed remnants
of who you
seduced me into
     believing
            that you were,

but like all things that
no longer shine
I discarded the gem
that had long since
lost it's polish and
turned         dull,

because after all;

I never cared
for the color of deceit
anyhow.....



The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

© Copyright 2004 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
1 posted 2004-11-18 01:52 PM


Hmmmm sounds like someone I know.....

Very nice, put together very well.


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-11-18 02:00 PM


WHOA Girl...would love to have you on my team....way to go



he'd better get his dukes up

a very good write

iwontdrownagain
Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39
Massachusetts
3 posted 2004-11-18 02:11 PM


It's such coincidence that I have had the unfortunate experience with that myself. From one color of deceit hater to another..

"The green of your eyes
That you get from your father
Shows your personality,
Such a young girl with an equally
Young and foolish heart."
~Lynn M

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2004-11-18 02:58 PM


I LOVE reading your rants! ~ and you do it in such a classy and poetic manner!!!

Right on, girlfriend!

Linda

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
5 posted 2004-11-18 03:13 PM


Love it!  well written!!  

hugs, g

"Everybody just wants to get high...sit and watch a perfect world go by..." (T.McGraw)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-11-18 03:14 PM


Good use of line breaks, Donna...

stand-alone lines...
very good!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-11-18 10:30 PM


just like me
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2004-11-18 10:58 PM


Nor I...James
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
9 posted 2004-11-19 12:21 PM


well written -

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
10 posted 2004-11-19 12:30 PM


Donna... Enjoyed your rambling rant.
Who ever that person was didn't know what they were in for, trying too pull the wool over your eyes...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2004-11-19 04:46 AM


Great rebuttal and well written.
Intense & powerful!


Eric

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
12 posted 2004-11-19 05:25 PM


Wow,

Loving this my friend!! Powerful words that hit hard...but then again I am sure this was your intention. Remind me to never cross on your bad side LOL.

Take care,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
13 posted 2004-11-19 07:23 PM


Tell it like it T-I-is...

JL


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2004-11-26 11:19 AM


"You wore your cunning well
     for awhile
until it wore thin
and the fabric of you
        showed through
leaving nothing more
than frayed remnants
of who you
seduced me into
     believing
            that you were"

I could not have said it better!!! Perfect Donna!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
15 posted 2004-11-26 04:01 PM


Woah!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

16 posted 2004-11-26 04:40 PM


so many of us here have been affected by that color....you paint it perfectly
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2004-11-26 04:51 PM


Wow, love the impact of this, very strong and the line breaks? I agree with Kari, you;ve placed them well.

An excellent write Donna

it's a keeper

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

18 posted 2004-11-29 01:53 PM


ya'll make me smile, thanks so much!  HUGS

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