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Open Poetry #34
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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2004-11-10 07:12 PM


I entered this as a challenge poem,
thinking this a good day for
remembrance.....Hope to see many
on this particular holiday.


Old Friends

He won’t talk, turns questions aside
with no more than some neutral story
about base life, that I’ve heard before.
I never probe: the only time I tried,
his face held on, rock steady, but
his eyes begged, “Please, not this.”

I know this much only now for certain,
that he held a rank but didn’t like it,
tried to give no orders that would kill,
kept a friend he had survived with,
who had run the radio on long flights
over darkness and God knew what.

It was a hobby shop that got him.
Just walking through one afternoon,
hunting daydreams, buying batteries,
spending time we both had to share,
mostly being men together in the way
dads and sons so seldom get to be.

Trains and rockets, big and little cars,
bright grownup toys for children,
children’s toys for grown-up men.
Overhead the models, all to scale,
wings, propellers perfect, even girlfriends
nose-painted where they would have been.

Slowly, a tear he refused to acknowledge
and a look of distance I had never seen;
the years lifting, crashing back too heavy
as he saw me notice he’d gone lost.
A shy memory smile drawn in, then
“Old friends,” was all he could say.

© Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Catrina
Member
since 2004-11-10
Posts 132

1 posted 2004-11-10 07:19 PM


"crashing back too heavy"
Yes, it is just like that.

myheart
Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 160
lost in your eyes
2 posted 2004-11-10 07:30 PM


this is wonderful. well done indeed.

~myheart~

Love is the poetry of the senses.  ~Honoré de Balzac

Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2004-11-10 09:01 PM


A very sensitive portrait, dear friend.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2004-11-10 10:11 PM


It is rare when a remembrance truly does justice to our veterans... for we owe them so much. This, my friend, is one of those rarities... so poignant... so touching... repeated in variations through generations... regardless of the war, some memories can't be spoken.

Such a beautiful, excellent poem... I can only thank you... and applaud through tears. *S*

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2004-11-10 11:00 PM


Damn dude...This is as good a poem as I've read anywhere.

Great great read, m'friend!

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2004-11-10 11:39 PM


Very nice...James
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

7 posted 2004-11-11 10:35 AM


wonderful poem - thanks for sharing the story
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2004-11-11 10:40 AM


sensitive and poignant writing....tugging heartstrings..
well done Ed...

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2004-11-11 10:48 AM


Ed... the humanity and the reality of those who were there.. is fast fading.. my own father stationed in the Pacific as an infantry, then in the MP's who occupied Japan.. never said a word...

thank for capturing a bit of it here... and for reminding me

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2004-11-11 10:54 AM


I am not ashamed to say I cried as I read
this...because it reminds me too well of my
own moments with my Dad,  just before he
died...when he finally started talking about
the single most significant thing that
he experienced in his life...before my birth.

Thanx Ed... muchly.

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2004-11-11 06:09 PM


Ed~
This is 'first-class' all the way~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-11-12 10:07 AM


deep heavy sigh
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
13 posted 2004-11-12 10:28 AM


Most enjoyable read!
JL

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
14 posted 2004-11-12 10:56 AM


When I read this in the challenge - I loved it then, I love it now - a soul beautifully captured -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

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