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Open Poetry #34
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suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2004-11-10 09:55 AM


It was her first piece of jewelry
and gleamed brightly on a hand
reaching for diploma –
the first in her family to graduate.

Shining from soap suds,
it glistened when a tall young man
entered the diner during supper rush
and ordered love.

As he put a ring on her other hand
She slipped her class ring
Onto a finger that was
Already being pulled across the sea.

It glowed in sunlight
when he gripped rails looking homeward
and by light of cigarette
as nightly he wrote of love
to keep from thinking of fear.

When at last they returned to her,
it glinted with reflected pride
as he held their son
and later… daughters.

But there was no glimmer
when his hands filled with tears
knowing she faced an enemy
he lacked the power to defeat.
And he put the ring away
as he stumbled from her grave.

Now, it is mine.
Whatever engravings
once graced the band
are long obliterated.
It’s silent of the stories
I know it could tell
but the very wornness says –
there once was love.

I slip it onto your finger
and though its stay is brief
I will see it there
each time I close my eyes,
whenever I breathe your name.
I’ll hear it clearly say
There is love.





© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-11-10 09:59 AM


a never ending circle..of love.
beautiful write.

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-11-10 10:04 AM


a beautiful and endearing story....thank you for writing and sharing
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-11-10 11:12 AM


WOW!!  Amazing write lady..love it much!
Beautiful write...a keeper for my library!
Hugs~

Now while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again..and again.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2004-11-10 11:43 AM


Is that your hand wearing your mother's ring? A treasure of a family keepsake poem and photo.

You wrote with such love and grace, my friend. A truly touching write. God bless her ~ and you...

Love & Eternal Light,
EA

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
5 posted 2004-11-10 12:30 PM


Excellen write!
Really enjoyed.

JL


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2004-11-10 12:47 PM


Some absolutely exqusite and powerful lines here, my favorites:


                                                            
                                                            
                                                          entered the diner during supper rush
                                                                 and ordered love.


                                                                Onto a finger that was
                                                          Already being pulled across the sea.

                                                                                                                                                  But there was no glimmer
                                                            when his hands filled with tears
                                                             knowing she faced an enemy
                                                            he lacked the power to defeat.
                                                              And he put the ring away
                                                            as he stumbled from her grave.

                                                                                                                                  It’s silent of the stories
                                                                 I know it could tell
                                                             but the very wornness says –
                                                                there once was love.

                                                               I slip it onto your finger
                                                              and though its stay is brief
                                                                  I will see it there
                                                              each time I close my eyes,
                                                            whenever I breathe your name.
                                                                 I’ll hear it clearly say
                                                                   There is love.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2004-11-10 01:06 PM


SweetSuthernLady~
It is with misty-eyed pause that I pen a reply to the beauty of this piece~
So tenderly touching ... sending me to the cedar chest in search of that first piece of jewelry, time-worn in much the same way ...~

You would HAVE to KNOW that this one will remain with me for a long, long time to come~
Thank you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2004-11-10 03:36 PM


GS: And spanning generations. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

LeeJ: Thank you for receiving it so kindly. *S*

Enchantress: Thank you so much... I'm glad you like it! *S*

EA: Thank you so very much, my friend... I knew from the moment I first wore the ring that a poem would come to be... but sometimes poems need a special moment to let them find their way... People, too, for that matter! *S* And yes... that's me... the ring is real. *G*

JL: Thank you so much... I'm glad! *S*

VAS: I'm so glad you liked... thank you! *S*

Marge: Thank you for that... today is the anniversary of her death... you made me glad I chose it for posting. *S*



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2004-11-10 06:05 PM


Ok..hanky alert!!!!


Lovely poem! And to know it's real makes it even more memorable!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-11-10 07:06 PM


but
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
11 posted 2004-11-11 05:06 AM


Wonderfully warming and poignant and how appropriate to remember at this time of the year.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
12 posted 2004-11-11 10:07 AM


Laura, this poem is magnificent. Your free verse is among the best that appears in this site, and this one simply grips the heart.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

13 posted 2004-11-11 10:32 AM


yes, much enjoyed; thank you for sharing this
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2004-11-11 10:57 AM


Shining from soap suds,
it glistened when a tall young man
entered the diner during supper rush
and ordered love.

As he put a ring on her other hand
She slipped her class ring
Onto a finger that was
Already being pulled across the sea.

It glowed in sunlight
when he gripped rails looking homeward
and by light of cigarette
as nightly he wrote of love
to keep from thinking of fear.


==================================


My oh my...this is such a tender, lovely tribute. Yes indeed...this keepsake has inspired something quite special...and like the ring's circling constance..so shall be discoveries and understanding its sharing of memories and meaning will bring those whom treasure it. Beautiful poetry Ruth-girlie.   

Poetry is emotion put into measure.
The emotion comes by nature ...
but the measure is acquired by art.

Thomas Hardy


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2004-11-11 01:47 PM


Now, it is mine.
Whatever engravings
once graced the band
are long obliterated.
It’s silent of the stories
I know it could tell
but the very wornness says –
there once was love.

*************
And a love like that never really dies.  Now this is tender sweet and a pure joy to read.  Big smiles here suthergal.

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
16 posted 2004-11-22 05:35 PM


Suthern beloved one, i have no words to describe how this beautifully crafted piece touches me. I feel it here in the depths of my soul, that is the sign of exquisite writing. YOU always write beauty, this is truly something beyond that, it is truly wonderful.

I lover it utterly, utterly, utterly
Love you always
like you forever
Mushy


this really is something beyond special darling heart

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
17 posted 2004-11-22 06:07 PM


suthern
A warm and lovely write, a joy to read.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
18 posted 2004-11-22 07:31 PM


Suthern, I read this a few days ago, and apparently was interrupted.

This piece carries so much in special memories, thoughts, feelings, and overall, a deep, abiding love...

The Ring is a tribute to all of that, sweetheart.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
19 posted 2004-11-22 07:54 PM


Heart touching read - lovely -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
20 posted 2004-11-22 08:19 PM


beautiful...

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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