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Open Poetry #34
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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2004-11-09 06:27 PM



It stained the Rockies
a kohl burnt sienna
and flooded my throat
with adjectives
piled one to top the other
Leaving the lines  with shrunken verbs
and me gasping for air.

as it crawled into my mouth
perching upon my tongue;
To escape this
gentle rise in my belly

. . . butterflies. . .

an overkill of beauty

Yet, the only thing I recall
feeling
was this pen
gripped
between my fingers

The scene

dying before me . . .

And rancid words strewn on paper
discarded with each stroke
as they bled easily purples and blues
mixed with Aspen gold
           each cut off
to lie silent
               muted by the fade

scattered in the fall of rise
  my belly no longer filled
I thought

             surprise is folding itself again



© Copyright 2004 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2004-11-09 06:33 PM


Well, I clicked on this collaboration faster than the fluttering wings of a butterfly! I am so glad that you, Sue, took El Capitan up on his offer! You two make one rocking good duo!

Your fine poetic inks created a masterpiece together! I knew if you two combined your talents we'd be in for a special treat!!!


Linda

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-11-09 06:36 PM


Special treat indeed!!
I do hope there is more where this came from.
So good to see you two duet!
Must we beg for more?
~Hugs to you both~

Now while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again..and again.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2004-11-09 06:54 PM


"Leaving the lines  with shrunken verbs
and me gasping for air."
that's how I'm always left
after reading either of you

gasping, gratefully

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2004-11-09 07:14 PM


Nicely done and very much enjoyed~~

M

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2004-11-09 07:46 PM


smiling* I've been waiting for this one to come from your pens...
and I am so damn glad that it did....

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2004-11-09 09:32 PM


Sue and Ron

A wonderful duet!!  

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2004-11-09 09:32 PM


Well, yanno? I actually see both flavors here. But done so well they are swirled, rather than layered.

*smilin' atcha both*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-11-09 09:45 PM


I've been waiting for this duet...and well worth the wait!
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2004-11-09 10:09 PM


aye wranx said it best. excellent
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
10 posted 2004-11-09 10:16 PM


eloquent, eloquent movement in this...

outstanding collab...

much love,
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2004-11-09 10:18 PM


It's about time.



I felt the color beneath the skin...

smiling wide


Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2004-11-10 08:33 AM


thanks you all.. for the nice words.. Now I have to tell the truth here..
Sue began this piece.. had it written in outline and in form.. I edited a few rods here and there..added one or two.. but the beauty in this is hers... not mine..

Ed.. you have a good eye.. the blend is from editing rather than opening my own mouth and ruining what she began...

thanks again all..

and Sue... it was a pleasure ma'am...
now..take a bow would you?


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

13 posted 2004-11-10 08:39 AM


God you to create one heck of a shock wave of words...wonderfully written and profoundly read...more please?


scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
14 posted 2004-11-10 08:40 AM


Very beautiful!!  Both of you should take a bow!!

believe in what your heart feels...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2004-11-10 09:00 AM


Despite what the good Cpat says when it comes to his dueting with anyone, even the slightest tweak that comes from his pen is sure to enhance one's words...

Sue, you gave him the grist...

together, you made a poetic feast.  Thank you both!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

16 posted 2004-11-10 02:48 PM


Your voices blend so well, a magnificent collaboration.

Greatly enjoyed and yes... it's about time.

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
17 posted 2004-11-10 08:02 PM


Yep, I see pieces of you both in this.
You blend beautifully.
A write definitely worth the wait.
More? Please.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
18 posted 2004-11-10 08:09 PM


2 class acts,

need i say more?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
19 posted 2004-11-10 09:11 PM


Ron is insane, all of you know he painted this, I just provided the frame.

(isnt that we he just said up there???)

Thank you soo much everyone for reading,
and for liking this.  It means so much to me
and Ron?  Thank YOU . . . you have helped me to see through your eyes.

*bowing gracefully*

Please tip your hat, Sir.

Thanks guys.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
20 posted 2005-01-24 04:21 PM



A beautiful blending, you two...

Love this...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
21 posted 2005-01-24 06:24 PM


AMAZING!

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

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