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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-11-08 04:27 PM


So you played among the stones
And found the green shadows grey at last
In the tumbled landscape so sown with path
That grew or failed yet led to everywhere
As I sighed your name on amber winds
Hoping the scent of Pinion would bury itself
Against your skin
            And find you not just an end of tailored words
Sewing small stitches of time into some brocade to wear
When you felt the urge to feel wind on cheek
Or something to thrill
                                     Or maybe you will know
Such stones as these are small
  And that

While you stared
                   I hummed low tunes
To shake the marrow of bones and crumble flesh
Into dusty shards, then tossed aside as if free
Of notes or harmony distilled if it was
Of heartbeats and ache…

How much I ask then can you take?
Enough?
                  Or more than you can bear?

Tell me river songs little one
      While I braid your hair

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
1 posted 2004-11-08 04:31 PM


This is a fine fine weaving of a thing.


Hope all is well with you.

Corinne

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-11-08 04:33 PM


thank you ma'am... kinder words than I deserve... but greatly appreciated...

with me.. things are.. and with you?

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-11-08 04:41 PM


Tell me wind songs little one
      While I braid your hair

~*~

Always the promise
of touch
and story.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-11-08 04:55 PM


song blowing in the wind
while you braided my wet hair,
somebody told me they
loved me today

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2004-11-08 04:59 PM


Sunshine... thanks for the eys..and the kind words..

Inked... :: smiling:: to be told that you are loved is something rare...  

thank you for the words.. the eyes.. and the share...



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2004-11-08 05:20 PM


Cpat  
An intricate cut of symbols but it ended well. Enjoyed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-11-08 05:26 PM


Can it really be that simple?

sighing here

soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
8 posted 2004-11-08 05:39 PM


Wow, that's...wow. Wonderful poem.

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2004-11-08 07:25 PM


Karen?  yes

Ron?  this is just . . . beauty.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
10 posted 2004-11-08 07:29 PM


Tell me river songs little one
      While I braid your hair
***********************************

::touching...truly:::

so much love, chief...
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2004-11-08 07:49 PM


Ron

"How much I ask then can you take?
Enough?
                  Or more than you can bear?

Tell me river songs little one
      While I braid your hair"

These last lines are so poignant that they brought tears.  

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
12 posted 2004-11-08 07:55 PM


When I read you, I know that I will read "real."  Yes, it can be that simple can't it?  Do you realize that Oceanus is my favorite scent - no?  Well it is - sold at The Body Shop.  Just a thought but nice thing to buy that special one you touch with feathered whispers Captain!   Oh you are sure getting like an aged bottle of wine lately you know that?

Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2004-11-09 05:51 AM


Tell me river songs little one
      While I braid your hair


braid my hair... and I'll sing

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
14 posted 2004-11-09 07:56 AM


When reading you, I not only get a treat of smooth as silk reading, but I come away feeling as if I have been enlightened a bit and given a lesson on the soft edge.  Excellent or superb ... your choice or both as this one rates it.
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2004-11-09 09:57 AM


when I find the words I will be back...sigh.........
damn....

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2004-11-09 11:00 AM


"While you stared
                   I hummed low tunes
To shake the marrow of bones and crumble flesh
Into dusty shards, then tossed aside as if free
Of notes or harmony distilled if it was
Of heartbeats and ache…

How much I ask then can you take?
Enough?
                  Or more than you can bear?

Tell me river songs little one
      While I braid your hair"


I thought I signed this Captain,
as I remember reading it yesterday...
I wanted you to know I was here, read,
and so very much enjoyed this piece.

Now while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again..and again.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2004-11-09 12:13 PM


you can braid?

I have never known a man that could braid.

You have many hidden talents.



"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Dautz Write
Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96

18 posted 2004-12-09 10:12 PM


Your poem made me think of the growing babe, Oceanus, and the hardships the Pilgrims faced during and after they crossed the Atlantic.  

Yet, times of warmth were found for simple things like the braiding of a child's hair.

A pleasure to read

dautz...

  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2004-12-09 10:36 PM


Tonight I took time to read
the comments...

I keep going back to what I always say...
and I won't repeat it here.

By now, I trust you realize....

yes.

Do it.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
20 posted 2004-12-10 10:17 AM


you without a doubt are one of the best writers i have ever read
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
21 posted 2004-12-10 10:28 AM


perhaps my favorite from all your fine pennings
holding me gently, by the braids
*saving this one*

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
22 posted 2004-12-10 01:54 PM


made me sigh.......beautyful penned

Charisma

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
23 posted 2004-12-10 07:38 PM


Ron, you rock... and your words sweet man, are always so touching
Hockeychick19
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 430
Massachusetts, USA
24 posted 2004-12-10 08:07 PM


Ron,

Great write! Enjoyed it very much You paint a lovely picture with your words.

~Kelly~

Life is a gift so live it to the fullest!

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